In this one, reader is pitted against reader in a gory mellee of previously dignified ladies fighting it out for a fabulous prize and the glory of winning an unmentionable prize. Your task: spread the word about In Bed With Married Women. Your winnings, should you choose to accept this challenge: Your very own Club Vibe from Good Vibrations, the cool San Francisco, girl-friendly purveyors of sex toys.
The Club Vibe (a $69 value, mind you--no cheap sex toys, for you, dear reader) is some sort of magical device that responds to sounds. You can plug it into your MP3 player or iPhone and it pulses to the beat of the music. (I am actually kind of afraid of plugging it into my iPhone. I already like my iPhone excessively and if it were satisfying me sexually as well, I might just run off with it to an Italian villa.) The Club Vibe also can be set to respond to ambient noise so, as the breathless ad copy suggests, you could "Let the sound of your lover's voice wash over you in waves of ecstasy." Hopefully your lover would get into the proper spirit of things and whisper sweet words of hotness, unlike me who would be compelled to pretend it was a microphone and say something horribly inappropriate such as "Clean up on Aisle 3!"
Anyway, people seem to like this thing--a lot. One highly pleased user wrote, "At the gym, the stationary bicycle became an exercise in desire. And nobody even wondered why I was sweating and gasping for air! Also, with the Club Vibe firmly clipped to my hip, the supermarket never seemed so sexy." I don't know if I am pleased or disturbed to imagine that while I am idly scanning the cover of US Weekly, the other women in the supermarket line are secretly having intimate moments. ("Honey, we need more bread..." "I'll go! I'll go!")
It could be you at the grocery store rocking out with your Club Vibe. To win, you must gather the most new fans for Facebook's In Bed With Married Women page. You have from now--right this second--until noon on Friday, April 16 (Pacific time). If you are vehementally anti-Facebook, and that is certainly understandable, you can also send people directly to this blog, instructing them to let me know that you sent them (have them provide your e-mail address as well).
Btw, if you want to just skip all that work and just order the damn thing for yourself, click right here.