Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Brave Reader Will Watch Porn On Your Behalf, aka Someone's In The Kitchen With Dinah


"I hate porn in general because of the lack of plot, stupid fake tits and scary fingernails that you shouldn't be wielding around soft body parts," writes Miss Kitler of West Virginia. "I also hate it because no one looks like they're REALLY having a good time and you cannot convince me that gagging is 'pleasurable.'"

Well, Miss Kitler, I think many of could agree with that assessment (and if you don't, send us an irate e-mail immediately). Porn films commonly feature actors joylessly pounding away, as though the act is giving them about 75% less stimulation than it should and they have to hammer at it all the more strenuously to make up for it.  And don't even get us started on the girls and their passionless moaning. "Oh yeah, that feels so good," they groan dully, in a depressingly poor approximation of real sexual desire.

Does good porn exist? Let's find out. Brave Miss Kitler is going to watch some porn for us, specifically Fluid: Women Redefining Sexuality from our favorite purveyors of smut, Good Vibrations, and report back on her findings. Why do we have high hopes for this particular film?

It was nominated for the 2010 Feminist Porn Award Nominee. I don't know what makes for feminist porn, but maybe it entails fewer of Miss Kitler's hated gagging scenes.  

The blurb for the film describes it as "part documentary, part pornography" which will "stimulate you both sexually and intellectually." Scenes include "hot threesomes, delicious blow jobs, female ejaculation on the roof top, and a circle jerk in the kitchen."  


Says the daring Miss Kitler about her Important Assignment: "I'm totally intrigued by 'a circle jerk in the kitchen.'  It's not just for cooking anymore!"  I, however, am more concerned with the "female ejaculation on the roof top" because of the neighbor factor, people walking below not wearing proper protective headgear, etc...

If you want to watch along with Miss Kitler (virtually, of course) you can see Fluid for yourself using this link.  It's available as a download, stream to own, pay per minute, and DVD.  And please do let us know what you think about it.

3 comments:

Cold As Heaven said...

I agree with Miss Kitler when it comes to the mainstream stuff; not very interesting to watch. But there are more interesting options, like real amateurs who somtimes appear to enjoy what they are doing >:)

Kim said...

I'm soooooo looking forward to Ms. Kitler's review!!

Anonymous said...

It's clear that women-directed (and ostensibly women-directed) porn is still in the minority but it's out there.
Or for a real laugh, try the movie "Pirates"- the most expensive porn movie ever made featuring CGI and everything ;-)

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