Thursday, April 29, 2010

The Land Down Under

Kitty, honey pot, coochie, box, beaver, quim, snatch, down there, yoni, muff, lotus, cunny, hoo ha.  

Ugh. No, no and no. How can there be so many names for a woman's nether regions and not one of them I want to say? Pussy? Too porny. Vajayjay? Too trendy. And the proper term, vagina? It sounds like something that involves medical diagrams and perhaps special ointments.


Besides, as faithful readers may remember, I have a quirk of prudery that makes me feel like a giggly, immature kid in sex ed class whenever I am forced to say the word vagina.  (Yes, forced.  When you have children, saying vagina is unavoidable.)

Except for the aforementioned educational contexts with my daughters, I rarely refer to these female parts by any sort of name.  It's actually quite amazing (and kind of pitiful) how one can go decades without ever having to use particular words.  I mean, I birthed babies, had sex, went to the gyno -- never once uttering the phrase "my vagina."

But I am a big girl now and need to get over this! Tell me, dear readers, what's a good name for a feminist, (sort of) mature chick to call her, uh, you know? What do you call it? (And do NOT tell me anything involving the word "beef" because that whole line of vaginal slang will simply not do.)

12 comments:

Cold As Heaven said...

My favorite word for it is oyster, which gives a hint of something exclusive, valuable and desireable. And the taste and smell of it is ... oyster ... >:)

Cold As Heaven

Donna said...

we just refer to it as 'flossy'and the boys are 'tonka'

Anonymous said...

Reminds me of the old joke about the stewardess who asked, "Would you like some TWA coffee, or some TWA tea?"

Darlene said...

I say let's take back the proper names and make them comfortable. So comfortable you're at ease talking with your boyfriend, girlfriend, partner and doctor! Say vagina, often, daily, repeatedly until it starts to sound like a good friend, a valuable member of the family, your BFF. This will aid in communications, help create a language and awareness for medical appointments and free women from being embarrassed about who we are. Darlene Gray, Advocate of Gyne Cancer Awareness. OCATS, Ovarian Cancer Awareness & Treatment in Saskatchewan, GCC, Gyne Cancer Canada.

jill hamilton said...

vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina....

Katy K. said...

the vagina monologues did it for me in college. i like vagina, even though SOME people think it's too clinical. i used to like cunt, but that's when i was 22 and had spiky purple hair.

deeman said...

The resonance we build up around certain words is fascinating. Nobody, I think has any trouble with runt, punt, hunt, stunt, bunt, but put a c in front of unt and we've got trouble, even though it has a noble lineage. Same with ock. Is there something wrong with the letter c? Trick is OK, but start the word with a p and you could get in trouble. How about calling your vagina Regina? That's a capital idea, and a good place for a caput.

china said...

i use latinate words in the doctor's office (vagina, penis, sex etc) and germanic words everywhere else (cunt, dick, fuck)

Anonymous said...

How about "Bird of Paradise", like the flower?

Anonymous said...

I'm a big fan of "vulva" myself, but pretty much no one uses it so it sounds weird.

DannyDix said...

I like the word pussy because it infers a cute little furry thing, that purrs when you stroke it.....but recently my wife grabbed me by the throat mid pu.... and told me in no uncertain terms that she didn't possess a pussy....now fuck that cunt good, hard and fast.....well...ok then.

tejanojim said...

Excelsior!
No, seriously, that's my favorite.

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