Monday, February 27, 2012

I toss a cock ring into the crowd. Please no trampling.

So, I can't seem to locate the winner of the Bad Erotic Haiku contest. Meaning, the prize--an O-Man vibrating cock ring*--is sitting around, cooling its cock ring heels.

This perturbs me because, not only do I like bestowing sex toys upon you, but I'm also cheap and hate waste. So a free sex toy going to waste? Well, my friends, that is a travesty in all kinds of ways.

No, I say, the cock ring must not have been created for this ignoble end! It must fulfill its Cock Ring Destiny of buzzing pleasantly upon some dude's wang.

"It should go to a good home that will take care of it, maybe a big farm where it has room to run," my dear friend B said.

So, because--unlike our opponents--we are openly and proudly "against" injustice, here is the quickest damn contest you've ever seen.

You can win our heroic cock ring and help it reach its True Purpose by:
1. Having already entered the original Bad Erotic Haiku contest last week. (Entries made via time machine to return to last week not accepted.)
2. Being the first person to comment below.
If you meet these highly stringent criteria, then email me your name and mailing address and fella (or girl, or intelligent computer-using monkey), you've won yourself a cock ring.

*It's waterproof, in case you want to wear it on a rainy day. Or are super super--some might say "excessively"--sweaty.

6 comments:

Brandon @ www.lostinidaho.me said...

First person!

My cock awaits....

in bed with married women said...

Congratulations! Send me your mailing address. Then sit down in your living with with your wang at the ready and await your prize.

Gia said...

Hhahahah....that is REALLY sweaty...

Bonafide Jones said...

It was me. Sorry I forgot my password and can't log in to my old account. I promise it'll have plenty of other cock rings to play with.

Cagey-C said...

This just seems like an invitation to write more bad erotic haiku. You may have created a monster.

Wakened orally;
vivid pleasure. Why so ab-
rasive? No! Bad dog!

Cock Ring said...

ongratulations! I like you posting so much please Send me your mailing address. Then sit down in your living with with your wang at the ready and await your prize.

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