This perturbs me because, not only do I like bestowing sex toys upon you, but I'm also cheap and hate waste. So a free sex toy going to waste? Well, my friends, that is a travesty in all kinds of ways.
No, I say, the cock ring must not have been created for this ignoble end! It must fulfill its Cock Ring Destiny of buzzing pleasantly upon some dude's wang.
"It should go to a good home that will take care of it, maybe a big farm where it has room to run," my dear friend B said.
So, because--unlike our opponents--we are openly and proudly "against" injustice, here is the quickest damn contest you've ever seen.
You can win our heroic cock ring and help it reach its True Purpose by:
If you meet these highly stringent criteria, then email me your name and mailing address and fella (or girl, or intelligent computer-using monkey), you've won yourself a cock ring.1. Having already entered the original Bad Erotic Haiku contest last week. (Entries made via time machine to return to last week not accepted.)2. Being the first person to comment below.
*It's waterproof, in case you want to wear it on a rainy day. Or are super super--some might say "excessively"--sweaty.
