Saturday, June 25, 2011

Victorian Smut and Homemade Plushies, aka It's Reader Mail Time

Sometimes you don't get to see some of the insanely fabulous reader mail I get when it comes via email, as a new comment on an dusty old post, is eaten by Blogger, etc...  

Thus, you missed this one from dear reader Chaffyn Lovejoy regarding the plushie post I'd titled, perhaps rashly and unwisely, I am going to fuck you so hard, Snuggle. Wrote Chaffyn:
I've got a nice plushie for you. Rather, my wife Freya does. Neither of us were aware of the plushie lovers contingency before we read your illuminating report on their . . . uh . . . activities. Freya, a multitalented artist, musician, and dancer (currently organizing and training a burlesque troupe) is making a series of anatomically correct stuffed animals. Here's her latest which she calls "Tranny Bear":
Not since someone doctored up a Snuggle Fabric Softener Bear® for me in 1987 and made it look it evil (it was all in the eyebrows), have I been so pleased to have inspired a disturbingly modified stuffed animal. Although, to be fair, there really have only been the two stuffed animal mutants. So, it's not, like, my thing, or anything... Still, I can certainly see how it all must look to you. I suspect having even one altered stuffed animal associated with my name is one more than most people have, and has undoubtedly put me on a suspicious persons list somewhere.

Meanwhile, gentle reader Robin Wolfe schooled me on Female Hysteria and Creepy Old-Time Vibrators:

Victorians have an unfair reputation as being sexless and/or frigid. Yes, there were the "lie back and think of England" types, just as there are now; but there were also plenty of people, including many women, who enjoyed sex plenty. In fact, many women in the Victorian era had what were referred to as "romantic friendships", which were passionate emotional relationships with other women, and they often crossed into being sexual. It was considered perfectly acceptable back then, and nobody (including husbands and families) thought anything of it. On a semi-related note, if you've never read any Victorian porn, you should; despite the use of ridiculous euphemisms, they often had an explicit frankness that can still be startling today. (If anyone's curious, I run a series called "Victorian Porn Fridays" where I occasionally post excerpts from Victorian-era porn.)


Well, OF COURSE I was curious to see Victorian porn and I'm glad I did. Do hie on over through Robin's link anon and verily you will behold Victorian smut like 1891's The Power of Mesmerism 
(man mesmerizes "Ethel" to remove her drawers, "insert her finger in that divine cunt and frig herself" and finally "draw forth his prick...then suck it until with a positive howl of delight he inundated her mouth with his spendings"). See also 1901's Autobiography of a Flea, written from the point of view of a strangely observant and well-spoken flea. Reports the intrepid flea:
From my perch nestling inside her bellybutton, I could observe everything. The pink, plump lips of her orifice seemed to be drawn back as he burrowed himself to his very balls within her womb. Their bellies touched as did their thighs, and a shivering paroxysm seized them both as their mouths fused in hot communion. Then slowly he drew himself out almost to the very tip and there was a sucking sound as the moist recesses of her matrix grudgingly released his weapon, straining every wily inner muscle with which the female is so lovingly endowed in the aspiration of bringing him back swiftly to her bower.
If you're into the whole Victorian porn thing, you might also have a look at Wicked Knickers, an oddly fascinating site of vintage erotic photos that proves definitively that old-timey people did more than just sit around in their parlors, roll hoops down the streets, and ring for Maid to bring in tea. 

(image source: http://lacontessa.tumblr.com/post/6062347052/alla-nazimova-and-rudolph-valentino-for-camille)

5 comments:

Leila said...

Yeah I figured they only left the image of virtue (and none of their true actions) to posterity. Oh those Victorian Age people... By the way, I find their smut a lot more tolerable than the smut I know and see floating around blogger and romance novels...so... And congratulations, you have given me my first teddy bear nightmare. You'd think those Child's Play films would suffice to give me nightmares of demonic toys... nope. This one would do it

Robin Wolfe said...

Yay, spreading the Victorian porn love! <3 I should probably post another excerpt this week, it's been awhile since I posted a new one. Perhaps the scene from "Teleny" that involves anal insertion of a glass bottle, which then breaks, and the victim dies of peritonitis. Oh, those wacky Victorians!

A heads-up on the other part of the post though: trannie/tranny is considered an offensive term by many transpeople and is potentially triggering.

Lost.in.Idaho said...

I'm going to have rape nightmares with that bear now.

Who's your Teddy???

jill hamilton said...

Leila and Idaho--Sorry? You're welcome?
Robin--Oh please do! And thanks for the heads up. Plus, I think I misspelled the word as well. Sorry transfolk. And lovers of proper spelling.

Betty Fokker said...

Seriously, I may be changing my avatar to one of the Wicked Knickers pics. I have adored Victorian porn for years, BTW. Naughty, no?

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