To go with the whole S&Mish theme, today's contest prize was going to be a pair of handcuffy things for a reader to try. I was even going to make the winner report back on how it all worked out for them. But the best part was that the handcuff things were non-leather, vegan handcuffs. Yes, cruelty-free bondage gear. "I wish to torture someone cruelly, but want to make sure that no animals will be harmed."
Unfortunately for the part of my brain that really, really likes a tidy theme, In Bed With Married Women's sugar daddy/sex toy company Good Vibrations sold out of the cruelty free cuffs immediately. Thus the fare I offer you does not relate at all to the theme I spent SEVERAL minutes of time composing in my head while walking the dog, but that's just going to have to be okay.
To make up for it, today's prize, the Date Night Delight Kit, is full of all kinds of slide-y, sexy, vibrating stuff that will make you forget all about my precious tidy theme and urinating Manhattanites. That's right, if you win, you will be too busy babbling incoherently after enjoying this:
Waterproof Mini Bullet Vibrator
2 Please Lubricant Samples
Ignite Me Massage Candle
Touch Me Massage Oil
Devour Me Lickable Oil
Mini Rub Me Massage Bar
Hmmm....what should I make you do to win? Actually, no... fuck it, unless someone's handing me $75 an hour, I'm not making anyone do anything. To enter, just leave a comment below (or if you're a big wuss and/or don't want anyone to know of your excessive lickable oil usage, send me an email). I'll pick a winner on Saturday. Okay, then. Run along now.