Saturday, November 27, 2010

A message on behalf of the In Bed With Married Women Accordion-Playing Monkey

If you were going to do any holiday shopping through Amazon anyway, feel incredibly free to use the Amazon search box over there in the right margin. See it? Yes, there it is! Hmmmm...that baby sure looks easy to use. Your holiday shopping could be done in a matter of minutes!

Plus, each purchase tosses me and the monkey a few pennies, which helps pay for monkey food, tin cups, accordion sheet music, Lexapro, little red and white striped monkey-sized pants, matching grey top hats for the monkey and me (for winter evenings when we get chilly), and the expensive ten dollar vocabulary words we're so fond of. (Long term goal: a machine that will magically remove prepositions from the end of our sentences. See also: previous sentence.)

And by the way, let's see--together--what posts come up on the "You Might Also Like..." automatic feature below. I picture the algorithm that decides such things throwing up its metaphorical hands in dismay at the impossibility of its task with this particular post. "If they like accordion-playing monkeys, they will like, what...Manginas? NO, dammit, this blog--it gives me nothing to work with!" it shouts in its robotic voice, untying its apron, throwing it to the ground, and stalking off two full hours before closing time.

6 comments:

CkretsGalore said...

Ok, I've never purchased anything from Amazon but if I decide to I certainly will because I absolutely enjoy you....er your writing of course.

CkretsGalore said...

PS: When I was typing up that comment I was in the camp lounge with a creepy all up in my face/laptop.

I was wearing headphones on my laptop, in a corner, and apparently that makes me available. Why can some men not read body language. If I'm basically hugging the wall in order to prevent any accidental body contact...I'm probably not into you.

He was quite young though..so naturally that felt awesome.

Enid Wilson said...

I decide to buy Oxfam Fairtrade coffee and tea only for this Xmas. Boring but I hope good for the world, a tiny bit.

Fire and Cross

Sandra said...

Great, now I feel this undeniable need to pay for the monkey's little red and white pants...

jill hamilton said...

Ckrets--I must say I am jealous since the only action I have gotten is a drunken neighbor woman who insisted on following me for a full block around the neighbors helping me train my dog.

Enid--I love what you're doing. Good for you!

Sandra--He does need pants. He's not the type to go around with his butt all hanging out like Winnie the Pooh or something.

And thanks to dear Tara who wrote, "Plink plink. Pennies in your hat. Inception on Blu Ray. Merry Christmas to me." Hooray!

bogart4017 said...

I'll take the Lexapro.

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