Pornhub Comments on Valentines

awww.....

If you are feeling pitiably single today, like my 12- and 14-year old daughters are (thanks a lot Valentine Industrial Complex. You fuckers) please take solace in that fact that even if you are with someone, V-day isn't a guaranteed win.

I am thinking of the poor girl who will be receiving the teddy bear + off-brand drug store chocolate combo the man in front of me was buying yesterday at Rite Aid. In the part of my brain that enjoys judging everyone, I minused him further points because he--without being asked--told me it was for his "Lady Friend." (Don't worry, dear reader, you and I are still good.)

If that doesn't make you feel better about your lot, perhaps you need something a little stronger, like Pornhub Comments on Valentines, featuring real porn-lust-inspired comments scrolled prettily on candy hearts.

Here are some particularly touching ones:

 and my favorite:

In other news, I am not wearing pants. Proven fact.

xoxoxo
jill

(photos via Pornhub Comments on Candy Hearts)