Sunday, August 15, 2021

Sex toys! Do it now! I said NOW.

Your ass here

UPDATE (9/25/21)  All of the stuff is gone. I sold a box of the leftover stuff on Craigslist to some random dude. We made the trade off in a lumber yard parking lot after hours for bonus seediness.

Me (handing him overflowing box of lube n' dicks etc...):  "I put the big ol' jelly dildo on top for maximum embarrassment."

Rando (joking, I think):  "That's okay, I'll wear it home."

 

*****

Oh Lordy, I have waaaaaay too many sex toys that even I am not slutty enough to get to. Do y'all want some? 

I am happy to send you one (or a boxful!), for the low low price of postage, plus an excessively generous tip for my highly embarrassing trek to the Post Office. (My Paypal: jillhamilton001@gmail.com.)  If you desire anything you see, email me at the same address:  jillhamilton001@gmail.com

Without further ado--because fuck ado, no one's ever wanting more of that--here are the items I am currently hiding from my children: (I will strike through items when they're gone, using a spare flogger if necessary.) 

 
BDSMy  
If you or someone you know is in big trouble.
 
--Hog Tie Kit   
--Kinky Sex and BDSM for Newbies, a 50 or so page book 

 VIBRATING THINGS

--We Vibe Melt (fancy clitoral vibrator)
--Enby 2, a non binary vibrator that looks kinda like a mantra ray.
--Ova, a roundish vibe for solo or couples
--Willow, a g-spot and/or prostate vibe
--Petite Private Pleasure Wand (a wee wand vibrator)
 --Lelo Tiani 3, a vibrating couples massager 
--Thumping Love Button (a flexible vibrator)
 --Egg-Citement Rechargeable Remote Control Egg with Attachments, who among us does not want to fuck an egg.  
 --Kit for Couples, 7 inch vibe, nubbly sleeve for it, stretchy cock ring,  mini bullet vibe, all waterproof
 
BUTT STUFF 
 
--OhMiBod Lumen (fancy--again, I know I need a new word--Bluetooth-enabled vibrating butt plug)
--Lelo Hugo Remote Control Prostate Massager, if I had a prostate, I'd be all over this one. 
--Adam's Triple Prostate Probe, in case you come across aliens who left their anal probe at home, or just desire some recreational probery
POTPOURRI!
--Duo Love Balls, Ben Wa-like balls for first timers
--Good Head Fundamentals, The Ultimate Oral Sex, an oral sex kit including a stroker, "oral delight gel" and such.
--All Star Enhancer Ring, stretchy cock ring for both cock n' balls.
--Toy cleaner (both spray and foam), Kama Sutra Playing Cards, lube specifically for use with strokers, watermelon flavored lube
 
(PS. If you click on the links and buy anything directly from the companies, the blog gets a wee kickback.) 

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