Friday, February 14, 2014

Pornhub Comments on Valentines

If you are feeling pitiably single today, like my 12- and 14-year old daughters are (thanks a lot Valentine Industrial Complex. You fuckers) please take solace in that fact that even if you are with someone, V-day isn't a guaranteed win.

I am thinking of the poor girl who will be receiving the teddy bear + off-brand drug store chocolate combo the man in front of me was buying yesterday at Rite Aid. In the part of my brain that enjoys judging everyone, I minused him further points because he--without being asked--told me it was for his "Lady Friend." (Don't worry, dear reader, you and I are still good.)

If that doesn't make you feel better about your lot, perhaps you need something a little stronger, like Pornhub Comments on Valentines, featuring real porn-lust-inspired comments scrolled prettily on candy hearts.

Here are some particularly touching ones:

 and my favorite:

In other news, I am not wearing pants. Proven fact.


(photos via Pornhub Comments on Candy Hearts)


Cagey-C said...

I love it when you talk dirty. Proven fact.

But really. 'Cum blizzard for you'??? Lord, have mercy. As if all the actual snow that's fallen here on the East Coast isn't enough. I can't think of any less enjoyable use for my snow shovel than trying to move eight to ten inches of goop off the sidewalk. Thanks for that image, Pornhub.

In other news, my Lady Friend enjoyed her plastic chocolates and had sexyfuntimes with her new Snuggle doll last night.

Anonymous said...

I am stunned. I got nothing.
Please carry On Jill!

in bed with married women said...

Cagey-C, and thanks for that image as well dear Cagey-C, which was not at all how I was picturing it.

Anonymous, aye aye..