Cosmo article trudging through the backwaters of weird-ass holiday erotica (Santas with boners, Ebenezer Scrooge getting head...elf ass, for fuck's sake.)
No, the worst part is that after all reading so so much about teasing mouths, hardening cocks and the like, I started getting kinda turned on. Yeah. So that happened.
If you want to see what I dredged up, here's the link for 14 Insane Erotica Stories to Get You Through the Winter. Head over and leave a comment or like or share or something if you're feeling brave. Go on, I'll hold your hand.
And in case you're curious, the one that finally made me realize what was going on with my body was gay erotica in which a mall elf was suggesting sucking a candy cane to tease/torment a mall Santa. Yes, a mall Santa. Please don't tell anyone about this.