Monday, September 13, 2010

Dog Toy or Sex Toy?

Consider the objects below:
Hmm... Soft-looking, pliable, nubby. Possibly good to chew on? Should you toss it to your dog for a quick round of tug-of-war? Or is it something sexy that you should immediately stick on your wang? Thus are the weighty philosophical questions pondered in Guy Cimbalo's "Sex Toy or Dog Toy?" on the Smoking Jacket. In it, he asks the age old question: Throw it to the dog or stick it up my bum?

Here's a quick sample:

1. Sex toy or dog toy?
Could be some sort of fun Frisbee kind of thing... Could be some sort of double hole plugger thing to share with that special someone...

2.  Here's another one:

Silly face caterpillar chew toy? Or something that, if used properly, does not seem so great to chew on--not at all?

Have you filled out your answer sheets? Okay, then, here the results: 1. dog toy.  2. sex toy. If you want to play more, here's the link again.   

P.S. It is just dawning on me that if I am hoping to bring in more than $1.47 peddling sex toys on this blog, it is probably not the best financial strategy to be constantly making fun of said sex toys. So in a last-minute attempt to cut my losses, I will tell you that the first item pictured above is the O-Joy Stimulating Cock Ring and available through the link from delightful frank and open sex toy company Good Vibrations. It's only 8 bucks and, for you, because you're so very very attractive, I can offer you 15% off your first online order. Just enter the coupon code: GV15OFF. Plus, if it doesn't work as a sex toy, your dog--or possibly a teething baby--might enjoy it quite a bit.

P.P.S. I am in a very public busy coffee shop and simultaneously typing words like "cock ring," repeatedly referring to the Good Vibrations site and trying to manipulate the photos above in an innocuous manner. In front of me sit a table of four policemen. Am I breaking the law? I hope not, as the bagels are pretty good here. All I can do is hope that those around me think I'm posting something about the latest dog toys. Ack! Old people just sat next to me. "Oh, I see they have chicken soup here," the woman tells her husband in a wholly uninteresting fashion. Can't...angle....screen...far...enough...away...from...them. Gotta go!


Amy Harwood said...

Funny story. It may take a second to get to the point of your article, so please give me some leeway. So, on Saturday I sent the hubby and the 15 year old son to the local big box sporting goods store to score my kid a new pair of baseball cleats (he kept complaining that his toes hurt in his size 9.5 pair, turns out he wears a size 10.5. go figure.) Anyhoos, the men return home with a new adorable dog in tow. (Apparently they sell dogs at the sporting goods store, or they took a little side trip. You choose what story works for you.) Anyway, they didn't get said dog any toys. Do all of the items above have the ability to multi-task? In this time of fiscal downsizing and responsibility, I tend to buy items that get me a good bang for my buck. Just saying....

sex toys for women said...

I absolutely love how much many of these are alike.The ones with the handle and the balls on each end are so freaking similar. I'm guessing you could use just about all of these for either purpose.