Writer Smith1990 linked to two especially intriguing products, noting, "The comments are brilliant. If you feel like a giggle and aren't uptight about sex, go have a look." Of course, I was so there. And it was well worth the arduous task of clicking the link to behold the Private Pleasures New Soft Touch Vagina & Anus. I mean, the description alone!
Soft & sensual! So incredibly life-like, you'll think you are deep inside of me!! Sensational ribbed passage. Tight & sassy anus. 6 Inch love tunnel. Exquisitely detailed vaginal lips. You can feel my soft Vagina and anus swallow your throbbing penis with every stroke. As you slide into my private pleasures the feeling is so life-like that it's as if you were deep inside of me!! I like it both ways! Sold as a novelty only.I love so much about this: that the anus is described as "sassy," the random capitalization of Vagina and the fact that it's "sold as a novelty only." I can't imagine any non-novelty use and I've spent a good minute or so trying. But perhaps most lovely thing about this paragraph is how it's written from the point of view of the disembodied anus/vagina thing. Genius! And I have to admit that the anus/vagina thing does indeed seem to have a pleasant and agreeable personality. After all, who likes a grouchy anus/vagina thing? ("Jeez! What are you doing to me?! I have to get up early tomorrow!")
Buckeye Wife and her husband were also enchanted by the FleshLight Masturbator and I can't blame them. The FleshLight (not to be confused with the excellent Parliament song "Flashlight") is an artificial anus housed, inexplicably, in a flashlight canister. The ad copy claims this is "discreet" storage, but I picture this causing way more problems than it solves. ("EARTHQUAKE!!" "Don't worry everyone! Everything's gonna be fine. I grabbed this....uh, anus masturbator.")
Writes Buckeye Wife, "My favorite part is that the color of the FleshLight is listed as 'anus.'" Oh, mine too, Buckeye Wife, mine too. And a side note to those who don't care for the color "anus": you will be pleased to know that the FleshLight also comes in the colors Pink Butt, as well as Ice Butt.