Saturday, February 29, 2020

Sex Toy Fairy Godmother

As I've mentioned here--and okay here too--I get a lot of sex toys and there are only so many I personally can have sex with. (I'm JUST ONE WOMAN, man.)

I'd like to share the wealth with your ass, or whatever.

Here's what I've got going on:

--lubes and toy cleaners
--vibrating cock ring
--some vibrators for the wimmens
--bondage equipment to hogtie your loved one
--butt plug
--nipple/clit clamps that could possibly be hurty (this is their asset)
--a stroker that looks like a pussy (secret hiding place not included)
--flavored lubes
--truly huge wand vibrator
--not quite as huge but still pretty fucking huge wand vibrator
--new agey game you can play with your partner about chakras and junk
--couples dice and card games

I can send you something specific or you can tell me what you're into and I can put a box together and ship it Priority Mail.  However, you are in charge of paying for shipping and giving me a wildly generous tip for driving my ass to the post office so I don't silently resent you, as is my way. You can email me for more details, if you want butt plug specs or something in private.

Also, and this is entirely off topic, the photo above is from the Cottingley Fairy Hoax, when two girls in England took pictures of themselves supposedly with fairies in 1917. Despite (or perhaps because of) the weight of popular attention and very serious photographic analysis by grown-ups of the time, the girls stuck with their story until 1983.



Jill Hamilton said...

hey there, I struck through stuff that has gone out to genitals throughout the country.


Jim said...

The fairy hoax fooled none other than Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, author of the Sherlock Holmes mysteries!

Emily said...

Um, just found your blog through Cosmo, which I n e v e r read. What is this, some kind of vibrator subscription service you signed up for? Where can I sign up?

- a bored 26 year old married mom of 2.

Jill Hamilton said...

Hi Emily! I just get a lot of toys sent to me by companies that would like me to review them or write about there, but as I said, it would be impossible to have relations with so many.

F B said...

This is awesome! Thanks for making the world a little spicier!

Jill Hamilton said...

pick something (or somethings) out, FB! do it do it do it.

SuperChick said...

Vibrator, dildo, cock rings... anything random and fun. Let me know how much shipping would be.

Anastasia said...

Geezus how many toys do you personally own? What are the specific vibrators you're looking to get rid of?

Jill Hamilton said...

SuperChick and Anastasia, I am out of everything but flavored lube and toy cleaners. And Anatasia, I have a couple boxes of stuff for me personally but i mainly use one, with three runners up. I guess I'm gonna have to have an embarrassing garbage day coming up for all my scorned toy lovers.