This is a True Wife's Tale update on Dusky. In her original entry ("I Have Had One Love Great Love and One Great Lover, and They Are Not the Same Man"), Dusky eloquently and honestly described the frustration of loving her husband but having little sexual connection with him. Yes, the sex was friendly and loving enough, but she was looking for smoldering and intense.
Instead of just jettisoning her sexual energy and figuring that this was what "mature love" was or something, she began a torrid email correspondence with Great Lover From the Past. The two exchanged sexy photos and deliciously detailed descriptions about exactly how they would like to wreck each other's bodies.
And, because she wants to live her life openly and authentically, she told her husband about the whole thing.
Several weeks later, I received an email from Dusky.
In just under 3 weeks (eep!) I am flying to London. It is going to be a little 'me' holiday before hubby and I start trying for our first baby. I will be catching up with friends and family, but also, I am going to see that old lover.
We will go on a date, and most likely it will lead to sex. He has a girlfriend who has no idea what a cheating bastard he is, so it will all be pretty sordid and clandestine. It upsets me that I am being open and he is lying, but I will take what I can get. It feels a little pathetic and anti-feminist, but this man is just too important to me to say no to him.
I now define myself as poly-amorous. I have acknowledged to close friends, to my lover and to myself that this is not just about sex. I have a relationship with my London lover, and indeed, we love each other. We also love our partners. To me it all makes sense and works. My husband doesn't like that I have a relationship with this man... he wouldn't mind me just shagging someone else, but the love involved is a problem for him. But at the same time, he has come to understand that I feel a need for this other person in my life, and he has found his way of meeting my needs. Our basic arrangement is that he knows I contact this man and will most likely be sleeping with him on my holiday, but he doesn't want to hear about it. We both have full permission for sex with other people, we just have to avoid it interfering with our life together.
I feel very lucky. I have a wonderful husband, a wonderful lover, plus some very special and completely understanding friends to talk to about it all.
Anywho, that's where I'm at. Let me know if you'd like a post-London update.
Dusky
Well, I don't know about the rest of y'all, but I completely wanted a post-London update.
So, if you're down with it, too...coming tomorrow (dun-dun-DAH)...Dusky meets The Lover
*Real Sex Stories are an occasional feature of In Bed With Married Women--the idea being when someone (originally it was just wives, but really, it can be anyone) tells the truth about their sex life (or lack thereof), we all Learn and Grow, and can thus scamper unfettered out into the world to have smarter, better--I don't know--somehow truer sex. This also means that as fun as it is to mock and or judge someone else's choices, don't be a judgey asswipe in the comments.
Want to share your story? It's easy! Just rip your soul out and email me the tattered remains.
xoxo
jill
(Photo via LaContessa)
