Sunday, March 14, 2021

Toys for Your Whatever

Hey there. What do you need to know?

1.  If you're wondering what happened to that article about me pitifully sexting with a 'bot, it is currently up at HuffPo, under the semi-unflattering, albeit true headline, I Sexted With a 'Bot to Quell Pandemic Loneliness. I will be on the Irish Times podcast to discuss it, which adds a whole other level of shamefulness to the whole thing, but that's what will be happening and I will alert you as needed.

2.  I still have some sex toys bustin' out of my side cabinet ready to come fill the yawning void inside of you (metaphorical or literal, take your pick).  

If you want one or some, LMK and I will box 'em up and send them your way for the low low price of postage and a tip to pay for my humiliation of mailing pervy boxes at my local P.O.  (If you see something you like, send me your mailing address--my email is jillhamilton001@gmail.com and my PayPal is also jillhamilton001@gmail.com.)

I gots an Easter-themed array of fuckables including:

--Rosy Gold Remote Control Nouveau Vibrating Egg, a sex toy with art deco design just like the 1930s.

--Happy Rabbit Clitoral Vibe

--Egg-Citement Rechargeable Remote Control Egg with Attachments, who among us does not want to fuck an egg. 

Plus your regular secular toys, as near as I can tell:

Big Ol' Wand Vibrator,  rechargeable

Prostate massager, long and thin for targeted vibrations

Duo Love Balls, Ben Wa-like balls for first timers

Kit for Couples, 7 inch vibe, nubbly sleeve for it, stretchy cock rink,  mini bullet vibe, all waterproof

Stretchy vibrating cock ring, you heard me

Candy Cane Massager, a waterproof vibrator, but, candy striped bc why not?

Adam's Triple Prostate Probe, in case you come across aliens who left their anal probe at home, or just desire some recreational probery

All Star Enhancer Ring, stretchy cock ring for both cock n' balls.

Purple Heart Butt Plug, which, to be honest, isn't the greatest name

Good Head Fundamentals, The Ultimate Oral Sex, an oral sex kit including a stroker, "oral delight gel" and such.

Joy Stick Recharageable Wand, a long double-headed number that could go in any number of orifices. 

Bondage Kit, with blindfold, satin pasties, silky rope, cuffs and flogger.  

Could pair with:

Lil BDSM kit, with a BDSM dice, a small flogger and a deck of sex bondage positions cards, if you other deck has worn out.

and/or

Bondage tape, cause someone's in big trouble

Kama Sutra Playing Cards

Big-ass bottle of water-based lube, lube specifically for use with masturbators or strokers, watermelon flavored lube, some extra large Elite Skyn Condoms, a Pleasure Feather Tickler, and, randomly, a very small guide to BDSM.

If you want to just buy something straight from the companies and leave me out of it, click on the link and IBWMW gets a wee cut.

3.  I really don't mean for this to just be a blog about sex toys I have not fucked.  I will work on that.  

4.  Thank you for your postcards and letters!

xoxo

jill


2 comments:

Susan H. said...

OMG, his "photo". I burst out laughing. I so love this column and want to share it on my FB age, but uummmmm - sadly, NO. I don't have the nerve...*sigh*

Jill Hamilton said...

Thank you! He is quite something.