Tuesday, October 27, 2020

Toys, Toys, Toys in the Cabinet, Redux

I can show you the world

[I just updated this with new stuff, as of 10/27/20. So you have seen this, but only sorta.]


As the writer of a sex blog that lots of people still read even though I only write a new post every 87 months or so, I have amassed a metric fuckton of sex toys. So many, in fact, that despite my valiant efforts, I've been unable to have sexual relations with all of them.

That's where you come in. Everything is completely insane right now AS YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED. Perhaps a toy or two would cheer you up? A brief respite of hedonism is a fine way to forget about the everything for a few blessed moments.

Here's a basic idea what I have busting out of my cabinet right now.

So, without further ado, except this sentence of ado that I just added, I currently have:

--Big ol’ vibrating dildo (w/ suction cup! And it warms up! And has balls!)

--Stretchy cock ring with a built-in scrotum ring.

--Silicone g-spot vibrator w buzzy clit part

--Large g-spot stroking rabbit vibrator

--Prostate probe (kinda like anal beads)

--Prostate vibrator, narrow and long with bulby end

--Smallish, non-penis looking dildo that bends and is anal-safe
--Silicone bullet vibe with ripples. 

--Silicone vibrator that kinda looks like a manta ray.
--Bullet vibe

--Butt plug with fancy jewel at the end
--Butt plug with handle at the end

--Bondage tape

--Cbd serum for arousal, just works for the wimmens though

--Box o’ condoms
--Small tickly feather thing for sensation play

--Topical CBD lotion (not for sex, for muscle pain) Menthol

--LUBE water-based, silicone-based, combos, especially for toys, watermelon-flavored. I gots lube is the point.

If you're feeling it, I can send you something specific or you can tell me what you're into and I can put a box together and ship it Priority Mail.  However, you, my friend, are in charge of paying for shipping (medium boxes are $15.05 in postage, large is $21.10) and giving me a wildly generous tip for driving my ass to the post office during The Sickening. My Paypal is jillhamilton001@gmail.com. You can email me for more details or if you want personalized suggestions or something.

That's all.  I wrote a post!  Sorta.  But still.

Good talking to you.

1 comment:

Cannibal said...

"...giving me a wildly generous tip for driving my ass..."

Just. The. Tip.