Friday, August 30, 2019

New Contest, Old Contest and a Decent Argument Why You Should Put Something in Your Butt

Actual O-Face From "O-Face"
Even though I've been barely attentive to most of y'all (sorry!), I've been having some completely fascinating email correspondence with some among you. I'll be sharing some of it...whenever, I guess...I'm not a particularly dependable chick. But keep a look out.*

For now, here's the first one:

A Decent Argument Why You Should Put Something Up Your Butt, according to reader M from Alaska

I've been corresponding with previously mentioned M from Alaska (see also:  "OH.MY.FUCKING.GOD! Ummm…WOW!"), a recipient of a prostate vibrator under my non-Government funded Sex Toy Fairy Godmother program.

I have taken a probably unseemly interest in the vagaries of M's orgasms with the toy because I don't possess a prostate (though I do have all the symptoms of prostate cancer. #hypochondriac), plus he's super articulate about his experiences and also possibly/mainly because I'm sort of into the fact that I semi-helped some random dude have unprecedented orgasms.

Here, you can eavesdrop:

M:  It’s been awhile but just wanted to let you know that I use that toy easily 3-5 times a week. Multiple Os, better each time I use it.
For the record, when I’m using this toy my dick never gets hard nor do I ejaculate, unless of course I’m stimulating that as well.
Truly life-changing and has enriched my sex life even further.

Me, pervishly:  I am so fascinated by this. Like how did men have this capability this whole time but most of us didn’t seem to realize it?  Do the orgasms feel different than ye olde cock-based ones?

MRight?! I think I because of the stigma of ass play being “dirty” and “taboo,” combined w/the notion that if a man sticks something up his ass and likes it, he’s obviously gay;)

All I can say is after witnessing my wife’s reactions (shaking, tensing up, primal sounds, etc.)  to her Magic Wand and other favorite sex toys, and watching her experience orgasm after orgasm…it’s the same thing. No lie, I inserted that toy, sat down in my work chair, and rattled off at least 5 in a row as I cycled through the settings. The euphoria that lingers afterwards is absolutely incredible!

The O’s feel different but more intense (not in a bad way) w/each climax. I have on a couple occasions stroked my cock while using the toy and that orgasm is insane and does cause me to ejaculate; although the size of the load doesn’t seem any different than the traditional method(s).  If I employ that technique (stroke and vibe) I’m done after 1. 
So yeah. I really do find it absolutely fascinating that men (not all men, blah blah blah) can do this completely new thing with their bodies and most straight dudes had no idea for centuries and centuries. It's like when no one could break the 4 minute mile, then once people realized it could be done, like 1,400 have done it since. But with butts.

Anyway if you want to become thus buttally experienced as well, see also: 

New Contest!  

Prostate Tickler
In highly related news, our new advertiser Ella Paradis has offered to send one of y'all a vibrating Prostate Silicone Perineum Tickler and a bottle of Wicked Aqua Sensual Care lube because as I've typed approximately 8 billion times for Cosmopolitan, the bum is not naturally lubricating.  (And if it is--you've got a whole different thing going on.)

To win, tell me the worst thing someone said to you during sex. You can comment below or email me secretly, then I'll tell everyone like I did to poor M of Alaska. (Actually, he did consent. I'm not that much of a jerk. At least in this arena.)  I'll pick a winner by magic incantation. Deadline to enter is September 12, 2019.  

And if you wish for nothing in your butt, but want to tell me the worst thing anyone said to you during sex, I am so here for that too because I am endlessly curious/nosy.

Happy Rabbit G-Spot Vibrator

Old Contest!  

Meanwhile, the winner of the highly fuckable looking Happy Rabbit G-Spot Vibrator courtesy of dear Andy at Good Vibrations is... Markus because he entered on behalf of his wife. "Poor soul doesn't have a vibrating toy," he wrote, in the manner of a husband who knows how to please a woman. Markus:  email me your mailing address and have your  wife prepare her vaginal chambers.



Anyway, later.
xo
jill


 *If you have a subscription to the blog through Amazon's Kindle blogging things, you will be waiting forever because Amazon abruptly cancelled the program last week because they are dicks. Guess 70 PERCENT of the take wasn't enough for Jeff Bezos who, even though he looks kind of like a cute, round-headed baby and owns the Washington Post, which ain't nothing, is still pretty fucking evil.

5 comments:

Marla said...

To be honest no one has said anything bad while having sex....so i guess i lose....but win at the same time. Lol

Cagey-C said...

I am so fascinated by that story! And it sounds like I've got a new technique to experiment with.

Like the above, I haven't really been told bad things during sex. The worst would be either "Ow!" or "," but I'm sure I'm not alone in either of those.

Mostly I just wanted to say: "It's like when no one could break the 4 minute mile, then once people realized it could be done, like 1,400 have done it since. But with butts." That's absolutely genius.

Cynthia said...

My husband is so quiet during sex and doesn't make a sound. I need one of these so he can make those primal animal sounds you mentioned. I want to hear him roar!

Anonymous said...

The worst thing someone (my ex-husband actually) said during sex was: Can you come quickly, I have some work I need to finish. I may be disqualified because of shipping, but I still wanted to share. And I would love to stick that vibrator up my boyfriends butt. All the best from your swedish fan Emma

Anonymous said...

I can confirm much of what the gentleman from Alaska has said. Men can have multiple orgasms, orgasms without ejaculation, and orgasms that aren't all about the penis. In my case, the nipples are where most of the action is, as far as "dry orgasms," and I seem to be able to have as many as I want. Although I obviously can't directly compare, these seem to be a lot like female orgasms- the release happens everywhere and nowhere at once, and doesn't include the "game over" feeling that happens after ejaculation. The butt is new territory for me, but I've definitely had a few very intense orgasms thanks to a multi-speed plug/vibe. Staying hard with something up the butt is difficult, but a simultaneous prostate/penis orgasm with ejaculation is pretty mind-blowing and worth working towards. For guys who are hesitant to try penetration, I'd recommend trying a vibe pressed against the anus, but not inserted. This can provide a lot of amazing sensations (like getting rimmed?) and help build up to a great orgasm, without the downside of going soft.

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