Wednesday, July 31, 2019

A New Contest! (Because ERA Yes!)

it's a metaphor
So this whole sex toy fairy godmother thing* has been pretty rewarding, as such things go.

My most recent beneficiary/victim was a cool guy in Alaska with whom I immediately started discussing highly personal butt toy stuff, as is my way. Which was lovely, of course, but the best part is that he loved his new toy! (The toy was this, if you must know. Christ, you're nosy.)

His follow-up report, in part:

OH.MY.FUCKING.GOD! Ummm…WOW!  You are a scholar, a saint, a (whatever description you prefer), etc...[IBWMW note:  I prefer all compliments] It arrived Sat. early-afternoon and I’ve used it 3x already... I’m already experiencing pleasure I didn’t know was possible for a man!

Mission accomplished, my friends.

Now I want a vagina-haver to get something fun to put in, on or near their own highly personal orifice and dear Andy at Good Vibrations let me pick out something for you. Well, one of you, the rest of y'all are fucked (or in this case, unfucked. At least by this toy.)

Behold, your new possible lover, the Happy Rabbit G-Spot.
Pleased to meet you.

I have something similar to this toy and I like it very much (it? Him? Probably a him, but they get to chose.)

To be entered to win:
1.  Tell me what your favorite sex toy is via comment below or top secret email.
2.  Prepare your bedchamber for possible rabbit love.

If you are chosen, Andy will pack up your silicone lover and sent it your way. (Sorry, you have to live in the U.S. because insane shipping costs, not xenophobia.)  Drawing will be next week sometime. Probably.

Anyway, I love you. Not in the creepy way.  At least not at this moment.  Still time. 


* My fairy godmother box is a little low right now. I have a few tingly arousal gels for women (use at your peril/delight), a strap-on penis designed to be worn over an existing penis, a small vibe, a mini clit toy and some wee butt plugs. Yours for the shipping and possibly a decent tip from driving my ass to the post office so I don't secretly resent you. (As a fairy godmother, I'm kind of a dick.)


Marla said...

Mine is the simplest of simples. A 3 inch purple vibrator. (With 4 interchangeable tips) which one does the job fine in addition gets the deed done in every scenerio. Only one setback is the overuse. So The need for a new toy is simple. Being newly single having an oraface inserter would be nice. Lol

My email is not what is noted below.

Marla said...

Spell check....Orifice :)

Susan Henry said...

You will remember I asked for one of those gift boxes a while ago, because I had a new, very sexy guy in my life - who then proceeded to sleep with his drama-laden ex and cause self-centred chaos all around. So I cancelled that box. Stupid man, because had he bothered not to be such an idiot, he would have learned about this prostate toy, as I would have sent him the link to this article. (He's obsessed with his prostate, which would have been a fun activity had he managed not to totally alienate me forever.) Oh well. At least he made me realize that I'm probably more kinky than I knew. The trick would be to find another, older, AVAILABLE guy who is similar (and who has herpes, as I do - life can be so complicated *sigh*). I love that you post this on the Badass Dames page too.

Bean said...

Oh, yay! I love contests and toys! My favorite toy is something much like that. Like the previous poster, I'm worried about wearing it out.
I've been a fan of your blog for maybe three years; as soon as I found it, I was hooked.

L said...


Intriguing, as always. I must say, however, I do not understand the prostate massage stuff. Sure, I've tried it manually as well as mechanically. Just doesn't do anything at all for me. Maybe it was that doctor in the military induction center telling me to drop 'em and bend over.

Markus said...

First time poster, long time lurker. My favorite toy is my cock ring. Such a simple idea, and yet so powerful! Also it has a cool racing stripe, so there is fashion to match the function.

But the vibe would definitely go to the wife. Poor soul doesn’t have a vibrating toy. Her current favorite is a tempered glass dildo with some fine bumpy texture along the shaft. Glass is nice because it will hold onto different temperatures well, so warming (or cooling) it can add to the experience (but be careful, of course).

Anonymous said...

Haven't tried anal. Would like to experiment.

Anonymous said...

I've always been a fan of those little $15 clit vibes. But since they're cheap they break easy so I'm constantly replacing them. I had a guy years ago who told me about fucking a former partner with one of those strap-on-over-the-penis numbers so I've always been curious about them. If you still have that I'd be happy to contribute so I can try it out.

CuriousAdventurer said...

I had started my toy collection accidentally, with a back massager... like bulky plug in type deal, long ago... ‘97ish, sorry ma!! It was a family item, mother used on her neck and back from her slip disk pain... it was once a relief to my brothers pulled hamstring... and then I got a hold of it and suddenly it went missing from the house completely!! ( not technically, I was just the one and only who had access to it from the moment on)....I swear tho I have still yet to find anything better or as strong and fast working...Romantix; adult store....I bought.... (anal fantasy’s) pspot inflatable massager... its my last sex toy i had invested in, it was a clearance item(horny impulse buy$)... other than being a little intimidating, I don’t think I quite figured out how to fully take advantage of its capabilities... thus far I use it sorta similar to a clit massager, no penetration yet.... I don’t like to put anything other than my bf inside... the space is sort of permanently reserved for his amazing cock!! Anyway ... I’m sorry for the long and uninteresting post... I don’t know how you choose the winner, but I sure hope you take pity on a woman who desperately needs a little bit of assistance choosing the right toy to satisfy her never ending hunger for sex!! SERIOUSLY, NEVER freakin ENDING!!! Thanks for reading.... love the blog!!

Jill Hamilton said...

This contest is done and won, but keep an eye out. In the words of Clarisse from Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer,there's always tomorrow for dreams to come true.