|Oompa loompa doompa de doo|
Contest Winner: The winner of the Best Worst Erotica contest is the Anonymous commenter who chose the unintentional BDSM erotica of the Good Housekeeping article I Tried to Wax My Own Bikini Line--And It Was a Disaster. The reason I chose this--if you're looking to rig the game next time--is because this guy expressed a clear interest in the prize. (A Cadet dildo, courtesy of Good Vibrations!) Although other entries were super fine and completely amazing, I wanted to avoid creating an Unwanted Surprise Dildo in the Mailbox situation.
The contest also possessed a bunch of people to write me lengthy, super personal emails. Some of them were beautiful and touching, some were just fucking weird and creepy. Try to figure out which category you fall into and adjust your behavior accordingly.
Super Gay: Speaking of dildos, as I often am, I was assigned a Cosmo piece on 5 Positions for Pegging Your Man. Which, whatever. But what completely shocked me was how many Cosmo readers were totally freaked out about pegging. On Cosmo's Facebook page, there were thousands of comments, with about 70% saying that any butt stuff was "super gay." Which, a. who cares? and b. what??? Over at the IBWMW FB page, where it's way more sensible, Rusty wisely noted, "A man and a woman having sex is the very DEFINITION of gay!"
Super Gay, Donald Trump Version: Some guy on Twitter threatened to get drunk and compose Donald Trump gay erotica. Using the single-minded vision of a drunken man, he did just that in a 4 hour "wine and weed fevered dream" creating Trump Temptation: The Billionaire and the Bellboy. Pretty much anything associated with this is great, including the Amazon reviews, author Elijah Daniel's Twitter feed, this interview with Daniel, and of course, the book itself. i.e. “His gorgeous ass flapped behind him like a mouthwatering stack of pancakes in his pants. My hunger for pancakes had never been stronger."
"I Saw This and Thought of You": Among the things that greeted me in my inbox recently because...well, it's my own damn fault, were:
--The Dicture Gallery, featuring photographs of penises dressed up in little costumes. Thanks to Christina G. who has a knack for finding such things.
--This insanely fascinating video of hetero missionary sex filmed with a camera inside the woman. Thanks to Lily R. for scienceyness!
--A New York Times video on the New York Public Library's collection of vintage erotica featuring seedy Times Square ephemera, early transgender magazines and copies of Playboy. This was sent in by my Mom, which perhaps explains a few things.