Sex is good. Nature is good. The sea, marine life--good as well. But something about this particular combination of those elements (below) totally skeeves me out.
See this cute dolphin? Know why he's so happy? And yes, I know he's a "he" because he is masturbating. Which is fine. Right? Masturbating is healthy.
So, yes, I guess it's good and natural that the dolphin feels free enough in his sexuality to not have to hide behind some kelp or something to jerk off.
But in a way I kind of wish he would. Because you know what he's jerking off to and/or in?
A decapitated fish.
I don't know what it is that gets me about this: the sexual frankness, the fucking of the headless, dead fish (could there be any greater fish humiliation?) or that fact that the dolphin looks so damn happy about it, like he's just living the life.
I feel like I'm missing out somehow.
ps Thanks to the dear, longtime reader who sent this in. I'm guessing you don't want me to name you, but you're welcome to out yourself if you'd like.