Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Instant-ish Karma Contest

Early remote control vibes were unweldly
In Bed With Married Women has hit well over half a million page views, which is great--even though maybe 100,000 or so are from people like... the dear Canadian who Googled "Barbie beds in Hamilton" and instead of getting a nice kids' furniture store in Hamilton, Ontario, got my post about some dude sticking a stack of Barbie doll heads up his butt.

And in the past couple of days, some of you lovely souls have bought stuff through Amazon, Good Vibrations or shelled out for a Kindle subscription.  So I'm happy--or at least as happy as I can be on my new, only marginally effective, generic Lexapro.

In this state of sort of/almost happiness, I am moved to do something for you. Something I do best, which is give sex toys to random people online. Which, luckily, is exactly the career choice What Color Is Your Parachute? recommended for me.

Today's offering is the bNaughty Unleashed Premium Wireless Bullet Vibrator from Good Vibrations. Best of all:  Remote. Controlled. Which is completely hot.

Oh, I'll press it again. If you beg.
A $69 value, here's the blurb:
This ingenious and quiet little vibe is perfect for naughty partner play! Hand over the remote (which will work up to 20' away when the batteries are fresh), tuck the velvety soft-finish waterproof bullet somewhere sensitive, and wait for unexpected (or carefully negotiated) fun to begin! The remote's backlit screen shows which of the ten different functions -- from different vibration intensities to oscillation and pulsation settings -- is currently working its magic.
(There was also a bit in there about not sticking it up your butt and "a cord for retrieval when used vaginally," but the whole idea of remote controlled butts and heroic vaginal rescues seemed like it might "ruin the mood.")

Anyway to enter, do something nice for In Bed With Married Women--go to the right margin and donate, buy some Amazon thing or get a big honking vibrator from Good Vibrations (Jesus, look at this one.) If you're cash poor, but rich in friends and $6.99 bottles of generic Lexapro (I hear ya), then you could recommend a post on Facebook or pass a note to a friend in class or something. Whatever you want! I won't even check because that's how much I trust your ass, Dear Internet Stranger.

To let me know you have indeed entered and do--dammit!--want that Wireless Vibe up your wang or the wang of someone you love, leave a comment below. You can tell us what act of IBWMW boosterism you did, or not. I'm not the boss of you. And if you're shy,  send me an email.


ps Jennifer M. asked on the IBWMW Facebook page how the Amazon, and Good Vibes ordering works. If you order something using a link on this page, I get a cut. However, I DO NOT see who is ordering what or anything. So, if you want to stock up on all your Santa fetish gear and accompanying erotica, I will be none the wiser. So go to fucking town.

pss Winner announced Monday.


Spiffy McBang said...

I shared the Facebook link to this article. Sadly, my list of 39 friends is the digital equivalent of the one friend I had in high school, but I just bought all the Amazon stuff I need for a while. :\

Unknown said...

I Thought a Wang was a penis. Jill, clearly I need to be reading your blog more frequently, if only so I never refer to MY Wang in public!

in bed with married women said...

Spiffy, dude, you are already in good with me.

Tricia, I have appropriated wang for reasons unknown. bonus fun fact: in some lands, this same female wang is called a "fanny." ps your book rocks the fucking house.

Unknown said...


donation incoming.

in bed with married women said...

Brandon, thank you! And I am quite certain that you meant absolutely nothing with that particular amount you selected.

And dear Mongo, thank you too! Yay!!!

Totally Not Awkward said...

My mother's last name is Wang, so I always feel awkward when seeing it used to mean other things. (I'm not sure if she has realized this fact, though, and I really don't have the guts to tell her.)

/awkward college student lurker goes back to awkwardly lurking (and awkwardly liking)

tineke said...

I've shared several articles on Facebook :-)

in bed with married women said...

Totally Not Awkward--You might have just ruined Wang for me, which i guess is fair, considering. glad to hear from you from you lurkdom though.

Tineke--Aw, girl you are also always in good with me.

Natasha--thanks for the donation! Are you indeed entering, or just drunk and paying for stuff on the internet?

Cagey-C said...

That rabbit vibrator you linked to has always confused me a little. I don't quite get the whole add-animal-representations-to-your-vibrator thing. Maybe it's just that I've internalized our cultural taboo against bestiality. But this one may confuse me even more: http://www.goodvibes.com/display_product.jhtml?id=1-2-BA-1205&utm_source=lyris&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=gvmc20121128&mref=gvmc20121128_img_third. Are there that many people with baked good fetishes? (I'm not judging, just asking.)

in bed with married women said...

Cagey-C--Thank you for your contribution to my knock-off "lexapro" fund, as well as your always smart and funny comments. I am sort of feeling like Jimmy Stewart in "It's a Wonderful Life". (the end part where he's happy, not the jumping off the bridge/suicidal part, btw)
As for the cupcake vibrator, I'm with you on that one. If you're going to fuck a baked good, I'd say a eclair might be a better choice than a dumb ol' round edged cupcake. But then I have never known a cupcake in that way, so what do I know.

Sarah P said...

Heya! I shared the link to your blog with my friends on tumblr :) Hope that garners karma? I'm kinda cash-poor as a student, boo.

Can't keep anything to myself said...

Nice thing about an inconspicuous cupcake though, you can leave it lying around. And hope that kids don't ask to play with it when they come over...

in bed with married women said...

Sarah P.--thanks, karma accepts tumblr.

CKATM--Well maybe, but what is the first thing any kid does with a plastic cupcake?

N/A said...

This comment has little to do with the vibrator but can I just say I LOVE the pictures you post. Seriously. Whether you are taking them yourself or finding them, they are always beautiful, fun and sexy. Very nice :)

in bed with married women said...

Jean Marie--I find a lot of them at Wicked Knickers and La Contessa on Tumblr. I think they're both compiled by the same person. Thanks!

in bed with married women said...

The winner of the contest is NATASHA. Which will explain the buzzing noise that will be coming from her nether regions quite soon.

Natasha said...

Squeee! Best birthday present ever!