Saturday, June 16, 2012

Charles Marshall and his Impossibly Sexy Teddy Bear--New Twist in Their Epic Love Story

Um, can you just put down that I killed someone?
Here's late breaking news from my dear friend Tricia who--if she isn't careful--is venturing dangerously close to being named the IBWMW Minister of Phushophilia*: Charles Marshall Accussed of Having Sex With Teddy Bear For the Fourth Time.

Marshall, as shown in possibly the most embarrassing mug shot ever--was first arrested in 2010 for getting down with the bear in the men's restroom in a public library in Ohio. The judge in the case cruelly banned him from all Hamilton Country libraries.

After giving the matter much thought, Marshall apparently figured out the loophole in this punishment, choosing a teddy bear love nest that was....somewhere other than a Hamilton County library. His genius plan of wanking it in an alley was foiled when workers at a health clinic interrupted the hot bear sex spotted the offense.

So now poor Charles Marshall's mug shot is plastered all about, but I am wondering if the poor dude's getting a bad rap. After all, maybe the sex was consensual. Shouldn't a certain someone else be taking some of the blame?


I mean, Charles might not have been the only one who wanted this--and wanted it bad. Maybe, just maybe, little innocent dear Teddy is actually one hell of a fucking tease.




xoxox,
jill

*Love of stuffed animals. See also: I am going to fuck you so hard, Snuggle.

9 comments:

Red Shoes said...

Sex with a teddy bear??

LMBO...

Is that kinda like bestiality, once removed (since it's a toy)?

I can hear the bear now... make me growl, big boy...

~shoes~

Mongo, At The Moment said...

You know, even large American corporations appear to want the public to eroticize Faux animals in pursuit of profit. Or, some damn thing or other.

in bed with married women said...

Red Shoes--maybe not sex with a teddy bear. maybe making love with a teddy bear.

Mongo, At the Moment--thanks for the link. Worst part is that that chicken mascoty thing isn't even hot.

Anonymous said...

Sex with one of those realistic latex porn star vaginas is WAY cheaper than a Vermont Teddy. Just sayin... :)

jill hamilton said...

And how! Vermont Teddy bears start at 49.95.

Anonymous said...

Maybe if Teddy would put some clothes on the hot sex wouldn't be so tempting.

Anonymous said...

I'm reminded of the Saturday Night Live skit with Eddie Murphy as Buckwheat singing "Looking for Love in all the Wrong Places"....

Anonymous said...

Plushies...furries

in bed with married women said...

anonymous, anonymous and anonymous. (interesting how so many people want to be anonymous on this post) yes, ha ha!

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