Sunday, August 7, 2011

Real Sex Lives: Trisha, "Giant, Cumbersome Back Massagers Misused in the Cover of Night" and Other Faces of "Lady-bation"

In honor of this semi-creepy, embarrassingly accurate completely neutral information I received today via email (shown there at the left), I offer you this guest missive on my area of expertise which, you will recall, is MASTURBATION.

The piece below is from the blog SSL, which focuses on the "specific intersection of science, sexuality, and feminism; particularly paying attention to how female sexual response is discussed, portrayed, and studied in our culture." Trisha is also the filmmaker behind the fabulous "Science, Sex and the Ladies" which reveals that despite pretty much every thing we see about how women come, most chicks actually need to do some outer rubbing to get the job done.

Here's Trisha's My Tribute to the Many Faces of Lady-bation:

Here's to all the ladies rubbing up against their pillows; grinding hips into old teddy bears; laying on the couch spread eagle with their hands between their legs; riding their palms, face down on their bed; legs crossed in class gently pressing thighs against lips; silver bullet vibrators gliding across their vulvas; handle ends of old electric toothbrushes with just enough vibration pressed against clits; giant, cumbersome back massagers misused in the cover of night; fancy removable shower heads held dangerously close to the nether regions; quick rub offs in bed to help nod off; secret, quiet circles on disappointed clits next to sleeping lovers; joyously lip jigglin' in office bathroom stalls with memories of last night; frantic childhood couch arm humping; bored fingers on swollen clits; pick-me-ups between study sessions; unintentional bike seat friction; slow, sensual vulva massages in front of dirty internet searchings; good vibrations sitting on top of dryers; and all the other dirty, sexy, bored, silly, loving, gentle, secret, uninhibited, prohibited, fantastic ways we get ourselves, by ourselves, off.

7 comments:

Dicky Carter said...

Oh my...

The Blue Orchid said...

Here's to the ladies tending their Ladygardens and keeping the good soil turned between the rows. As for the men who cannot read nor know them fully then tis your - and her - profound loss.

B. said...

How fortunate you women truly are washing machines do very little but frustrate..bicycles seats kill my radiated prostate..and silver bullets to me are nothing more than a drink...rubbing against sheets give me sheet burns in the worst of places....Oh the fairer sex is so because of there wonderful ways to release stress

jenerosity said...

haha! As I'm reading, I'm checking off "points" as to how many of those apply... I had to chuckle at "secret, quiet circles on disappointed clits next to sleeping lovers." Yep, way too many times...

in bed with married women said...

dicky, oh my indeed.
the blue orchid, "keeping the soil turned" hmmmm....
b., if it makes you feel any better, my bike and I have never gotten down either
jenerosity--i know! that was the one that got me too.

bareback said...

Horseback riding and motorcycles make for some fun, hands-free wanking!

in bed with married women said...

bareback, thanks for the info. that makes my retirement plan of motorcycle riding all that more appealing.

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