Thursday, March 15, 2012

The Fuckiest Contest Around

We learned a new word over at the IBWMW Facebook page yesterday:  "fuckiest."

It was given to us by a Misguided Googler®* searching for "fuckiest woman." "'Fuckiest' is instantly my new favorite superlative adjective," commented Suzanne.

Agreed! Though I'm not sure about usage. If someone says, "That was the fuckiest thing you ever did," is that, like, good? Bad?

"Absolutely," wrote Brad, sagely.

And that's what makes fuckiest so great. It doesn't actually mean anything, but, damn, you sure sound like you feel quite strongly about...whatever it is. Fuckiest takes its meaning from its context. Like a word version of tofu, but a really kick-ass tofu.

Which brings us to today's contest.  Your challenge:

Use the word "fuckiest" in a sentence. 

The prize is the lovely Midnight Desire Pleasure Wand Vibrator (shown in the photo) from our benevolent corporate overlords at Good Vibrations. (You can also just buy it yourself if you're not a gamblin' type.)

Here are the technical specs, if you're picky about what you stick up your wang.
Get ready to conjure up sensational sensuality with the Midnight Desire Pleasure Wand Vibrator. This bewitching blue beauty is a mini-sized wand style vibrator that packs a powerful pleasure punch. The flexible head bends in every direction to facilitate proper positioning while the powerful Japanese-made motor cycles this vibe through three levels of intensity and three vibration patterns. Similar to the popular Mystic Mini vibe, the Midnight Desire is battery-powered, splash proof and suited to shallow submersion in up to approximately 3 feet of water, making it a charming travel companion. A pretty pouch is included for storage at home or on the go. For an absolutely enchanting erotic experience, the Midnight Desire will have you spellbound.
Midnight Desire Pleasure Wand Vibrator
Silicone and ABS
6” x 1 ¼” diameter (15.24 cm x 3.17 cm diameter)
Uses two AAA batteries, not included
Volume: 3, Intensity: 4
So yes, not only is it a $49 value, but you can also submerge it under 3 feet of water, if you're subjected to flooding conditions while aroused.

Drawing is Saturday, March 17. Fuckiest sentence wins. Whatever that means.


*My other fave Misguided Googler® of yesterday: "You should fuck the robot." Which, I just decided, is going to be the chorus of the first death metal song I write. It'll be blah, blah, verse expressing sentiments of angst and whatnot...  then I'll yell hoarsely, "You should FUCK THE ROBOT!"


Dryft said...

"I've been with a lot of women darlin', but you are by far the fuckiest."

Carrie said...

If we could make Rush Limbaugh go away entirely it would be the fuckiest thing EVER.

Clumsy By Design said...

The other day I started flirting with this guy at the bar I thought looked like Mark Wahlberg. About half way through the conversation he asked, "you don't remember me, do you?" Turns out we slept together 2 years ago; that was the fuckiest!!!

Cinderita said...

Every time I see you've posted something, I rush over to read it, but I never do that at work because I never want to have to edit my reactions to what you're writing, and I often can't wait to see what you've written about. There's something very turnonable about your posts, no matter what you're writing about. I like to think of it as foreplay...sometimes. And often, I find myself wondering if I'll EVER get to be one of the fuckiest women you.


JazziJan said...

The fuckiest thing about it was that the Sarah Palin costume I wore to the party just seemed to turn him on more!

Matt said...

She didn't know exactly what to do when she walked in on them, but she tried her fuckiest, and when it was all over they decided to leave the maid a really big tip.

Matt said...

I knew she was GGG, but when I proposed my fuckiest fantasy, her enthusiasm surprised even me.

Gia said...

And then I said "Boyfriend, when I ask you if I'm the sexiest girl you know and you say I'm the fuckiest, well, I'm not really sure that's a compliment."

JoneeKay said...

After she left the ladies room, walked up to him and placed her panties on the bar, he said, "Of all the fuckable women in this room, you are, most definitely, the fuckiest."

Anonymous said...

May I please have the fuckiest vibrator prize?

Anonymous said...

May I please have the fuckiest vibrator prize?

Unknown said...

Last weekend in Vegas was the fuckiest weekend ever! I'm still walking funny!

jenerosity said...

Getting all dolled up for our third date tonight which, as you know, is the fuckiest!

Robin said...

When Jill found herself fifteen feet off the ground in a treehouse overlooking the parade being penetrated by her boyfriend while her girlfriend sucked her nipples, she decided it was the fuckiest moment of her life. Crazy and sexy.

in bed with married women said...

Holy hell these were good! As always, I would wish to shower you all with vibrators. (um, not in a weird way.)

The winner of the fuckiest contest is Ms. Cinderita. This is due to flattery on her part, pure and simple. She called me "one of the fuckiest women around" and said this blog was foreplay. C'mon! I'm a sucker for that $#$%!

Fear not, others. I have another big ol' vibe coming your way very very very soon.

Cinderita said...

HAHAHA! AWESOME! I'll say anything you want if it means adding a new toy to my collection. haha! BUT I really meant it. :) yay!!

RobynHTV said...

That's my new favorite word. It will replace "fucktastic," because it's more delightfully vague ("fucktastic" has a decidedly positive connotation - at least in my mind - so I believe "fuckiest" will be useful in more varied situations). Please let me know if you discover a version of the f-bomb that's appropriate for professional settings, and my collection of fucks will be complete.

Betty Fokker said...

This was BY FAR the fuckiest contest I've ever seen, y'all.