Thursday, April 19, 2012

Reader Mail Week, Day 2: High-Level Mind Fuckery

Maybe these gigantic pink panties will distract
him from my abnormal vagina-looking vagina.
When my post about vaginal "rejuvenation" ran on Blogher, most of the comments were along the lines of "risky," "medical community shouldn't support," "irks the crap out of me" and so forth, but one in particular really stuck with me. It was this from CreoleQueen:

I was married to my high school sweetheart for 15 yrs. We recently divorced, and he has no qualms about telling me before, during, and after our marriage, how ugly my vagina is. I started looking into medical intervention, and found a few blogs and doctors who are able to help. While I know many women will disagree with my wanting to do this, I cannot see myself with another man and risk him seeing my vagina, and feel like my husband did. I guess my post is to kind of speak for women who may need this kind of surgery. 

This makes me so sad/mad in about 17 different ways. Because of this dickhead of a beau, this poor chick is now convinced that she has a problem and "needs" help. Surgical help. Expensive, risky, weird-ass surgical help.

And this guy! Even if this crass asshat of a bf/husband/ex actually thought her vag was unattractive, why the fuck would he be boorish enough to mention it to her? I mean if her equipment was truly so repulsive to him, shouldn't he have just broken up with her, telling her he had "commitment issues" or some b.s.?

Of course not. And you know why he didn't do that? Because he had discovered the perfect manipulative put-down. It's genius in its many tentacles of evilness. Not only is he handing her one HELL of a neg,  he's also completely insulting the very center of her womanhood. That is some heavy-duty mind fuckery. But, best of all, it guarantees she will never stray. You see, exactly as he'd planned, dear CreoleQueen is now terrified to be with another man and "risk" him seeing her heinous vag.

Mission accomplished, dickhead.

(photo source)


dirtycowgirl said...

I just want to shake her and say NOOOOOOO.

What he did was emotional abuse.

Make a person feel like crap about themselves - or a part of themselves that's not easily changed - because really you feel so shit about yourself so it makes you feel better then them.

I think betty has a point there.

JerryT said...

I saw a special on BBC America called Perfect Private Parts (I think you can get it on iTunes) that talked about women as young as 16 getting cosmetic surgery because they felt their "bits" were not perfect. WOne girl's sister and boyfriend (should ahve cut off his private parts) teased her about her "lips" until she didn't want to even be seen. When she ahd the surgery it was painful and she had a lot of bleading. Some of the women finally decided they were fine just the way they are and didn't ahve the surgery. My only assumption is that this knucklehead watched too much porn and because his wife was unique as most women are he had to be abusive. Makes you wonder if he said some things prior to their getting married that should have been warning signs that she should not be with him. CreoleQueen - Be satisfied that there are A$$ H0les all over and you do not heve to get yourself modified just to please them. You are beautiful just the way you are (song lyrics as wekll). If I can find a book I got that talks about how each person (male and female) have unique private parts I will post the name of it later.

in bed with married women said...

I'm happy we're smoking out this sort of creepiness. Once it's all out there, flapping out in the open, it becomes harder for someone to pull this crap on someone. i hope.

JerryT said...

Here is the name of the book:
My wife and I found a book that talked about the uniqueness of each female and male genital anatomy and how the appearance described the personality of the man or woman. My wife and I looked over those descriptions and they are fairly acurate.

The nam,e of the book is The Sexual Practices of Quodoushka - Teachings from the Nagual Tradition by Amara Charles. The pages to look at are pages 126 to 156 for women and 157 to 182 for the men.

@CreoleQueen - You're ex doesn't know what he is talking about. He probably watched too much porn and has no clue what a real woman should look like or how beaurtiful you truely are sexually and spiritually. The Ray Steven's song states "Everything is beautiful in its own way." Trust that you are perfect and don't attract anymore of these dirt bags. Sending love and light from my wife and I.

Mongo, At The Moment said...

I have one comment to make about all this. Well, okay; two.

Dusky said...

This story is so sad!

I too just want to tell her NO, don't do it, your lady-bits are beautiful!

Like Betty I would wish her to instead experience a decent lover, or indeed many decent lovers, who would appreciate and love and WORSHIP her much deserving 'SugarSnatch'. (What a glorious term.)

Anonymous said...

I've never been told that my vagina was "ugly" (though I have secretly suspected it for some time) but I had one ex who managed to make me self-conscious into the foreseeable future. He was a latent schizophrenic who had a full-on break after I left him, and inflicted some really textbook emotional abuse in the aftermath. I was 17, he was 18 at the time. Searching through his "hurtful things to say to see how much of my shit she'll take" banks, he came up with this one: "The one time we 69ed, I nearly gagged. My nose was practically in your ass and I couldn't stand it." I've never been able to 69 without self-consciousness since, though I'm generally on the bottom when I try it with Current Boyfriend (who insists that there's no reason for me to worry about that) but that comes with its own issues, such as his penis being at exactly the right down-your-throat angle. So there's that contribution to the discussion.

in bed with married women said...

Holy crap Anonymous. I'm so sorry 'bout psycho boy. However, I'm glad you're cognizant of the mind fuckery which i think (hope) makes it way easier to see that it was all about him and nothing about you.

jerry--thanks for the book recommend. am making a list today and will include.

mongo, your post was so so good. as usual.

dusky, i knows. i knows.