In Bed's As Sappy As A Drunk Today

This is supposed to represent me ravished by gratitude.
Or, alternately, a lady passed out in marshmallow fluff.

In the largely unseen 2003 film Japanese Story, Toni Collette is an Australian geologist who has an unexpected, instinctive and mostly wordless affair with a Japanese businessman, Hiromitsu. After a tryst, they lie stretched out on a rock facing the sparse, seemingly endless expanse of the Australian outback. In halting English, Hiromitsu says, with a sense of wonder, "My...heart...is full."

That's how I feel today. Like I am a Japanese businessman who just had sex on a rock and...well, no, not that exactly, but my heart is full. It all started the other day with a comment from a new reader, DeliaDelish, who wrote, "I am so crying and peeing in my pants right now. I think your writing is going to cure my lifetime depression. I soooo thank you." Girl, I feel the same way--about the writing as cure for depression thing, that is, not the peeing. (though it is fun to contemplate that I could control people's urinary habits using only The Amazing Power Of Words--bwah ha ha!)

Every day one of y'all do something to make me just that less clinically depressed. Like, just this morning, reader Ed ended his comment with a P.P.S. that read simply, "cockstand." (It was genius, I tell you, and if you click here, you'll see why.) Another reader made some sort of off-color innuendo about furries and a bag of knobs. Now, that's the kind of thing I like to see in my inbox.

So here, let us commence with the gushing! (Clapping now to signal the beginning of the festivities.)

I am grateful to the multi-cultural, Benetton-esque, Rainbow Connection readership for In Bed With Married Women. Check out this map--from just one friggin' day!--that clearly indicates the worldwide need for urgent, up-to-the minute news on anal bleaching, inflatable cows that you fuck, and Manginas.



I am grateful to the lovely Asha, http://www.ashafullife.blogspot.com, for this blogging award. I don't really understand it, but it's an award and I'm kind of slutty about accepting stuff:

And thanks to the witty, ballsy, all-around top-notch Brit, The Barreness, who not only bestowed this upon me:

but also penned the best comment ever.

(Here's where it gets all awards-speechy. If you're going to flee, now's the time.)