Subject line: "The first line of a Vagisil ad I saw today..."
"I found out the hard way -- all feminine washes do not get rid of odor."
Unfortunately I was eating at the time.
Ha ha, I thought, then went out to walk my dog. About halfway through the walk, the question occurred to me: What did this mean--"found out the hard way”? To me, “the hard way” implies more--much much more--than perhaps absently noting that one does not “feel so fresh.” No, “the hard way” implies something big happened, really big. What had gone on with this lady and her odorous vag? A beau passing out? Co-workers holding an embarrassing, yet ultimately helpful, stench intervention? If so, was an actor reenactment involved? My friend had not specified, and now I needed answers! “The hard way....”? It was a curious choice of words. Surely it meant the chick in the ad had suffered some sort of major public humiliation due to her poor choice in feminine wash (whatever the hell a feminine wash is). Had people been injured? Were authorities summoned? Were parts of her office building cordoned off?
And, dear Lord, that name--why did they have to name it Vagisil anyway? I mean, can you imagine being part of the Vagisil product-naming committee meetings? You would have to sit there, talking earnestly about vaginal cream and brainstorming names for it--Springtime Freshness! M'Lady's Secret! Butterfly Kisses!--without laughing like a 5th grader. Then, when someone suggested something like Vagisil and everyone nodded sagely in corporate agreement, you would not only again have to stifle your laughter, but also your overwhelming urge to stand up and scream, “Vagisil? Are you fucking serious? Really? VAGisil? What the fuck! I am so out of here!” (In case you were wondering, Combe Inc., the makers of Vagisil, are not also the makers of Anusol. They do, however, make LiceMD and OdorEaters which, in my opinion, are also in need of some major name makeovers.)
So anyway, I’ll let you know what I find out. In the meantime, enjoy your lunch.