tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4339155460200866959.post4641551659826847639..comments2024-03-21T18:26:23.834-07:00Comments on In Bed With Married Women: Kissless Marriage + Girl Crushes. That is, Reader Mail. Jill Hamiltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14989469118118455602noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4339155460200866959.post-22222635025029075732013-02-25T23:57:44.555-08:002013-02-25T23:57:44.555-08:00Soft, sensual kisses. Yes! Shoving tongue in mou...Soft, sensual kisses. Yes! Shoving tongue in mouth and circling it round and round the same way every time...I'm done with that after 20 years. <br />I also get girl crushes, but the sexual fantasy never comes into it. I'm a bit dismayed by that though.Belindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13934624532384417644noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4339155460200866959.post-37910832792437306072013-02-17T21:46:00.940-08:002013-02-17T21:46:00.940-08:00So glad I'm not the only one with intense girl...So glad I'm not the only one with intense girl crushes. I'm married and in love with my husband, but also in love with a woman. The thing that makes it different from this story, though, is that I'm 19 and the woman is 52. Uhh. Yeah ok I'm probably the only one.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4339155460200866959.post-27106099783875685832013-02-11T15:16:36.533-08:002013-02-11T15:16:36.533-08:00"However, I do see what is bought and I have ..."However, I do see what is bought and I have to admit I have a few questions for whoever it was that bought the Friday The 13th Jason Voorhees Axe Costume Accessory, Black, One Size."<br /><br />That was me :) What's your question? Isn't that a totally normal thing to buy in January? Haha.Jennifer McCoynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4339155460200866959.post-85704979131406799582013-02-04T14:30:52.504-08:002013-02-04T14:30:52.504-08:00I have no credentials in counseling marriages, how...I have no credentials in counseling marriages, however:. <br />AS a man who has been with the same woman for several decades, I would narrow down his problem with his kissless marriage to two possible top reasons:<br /> <br />#1 He has bad breath.<br />Many people may brush their teeth daily but not realize that this is not enough. I know a few otherwise lovely women who have a serious issue with infections (probably in their gums) that give their mouths permanent dragon - breath. my advice: See dentist yearly and then daily flossing followed by a 40 second rinse with hydrogen peroxide BEFORE brushing every AM should help.<br /> <br />#2 His wife is duplicitous<br />When i was dating( Nixon administration) my future wife loved to go on outdoor adventures with me, loved going to movies, also loved dancing and especially loved long evenings spent making out in cars and on couches employing every possible type of kissing. She also told me more than once she loved my story- telling.<br />However, over the years I have been told in no uncertain terms that she:<br />..hates movies,<br />...hates dancing,<br />...is afraid of going to new places, especially outdoor new places,<br />...hates popular music,<br />... hates french kissing,<br />...does not "get" my humor.<br />Now, having said all that, I still fell in love with her and married her, and I am confused about what this relationship says about me or her. Perhaps in 30 or 40 years you may be reflecting upon a history similar to mine.<br />Best of luck to him!<br />TT<br />PS LOve your blog Jill!! Keep on Keepin' onttnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4339155460200866959.post-28235023987364506722013-02-04T11:47:42.175-08:002013-02-04T11:47:42.175-08:00If your wife (or husband) doesn't like kissing...If your wife (or husband) doesn't like kissing on the mouth why not other little intimacies? Kissing on the neck, just under the ear is very intimate and fine in public, hold hands, touch - there are a thousand and one ways to be intimate, why not explore them?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4339155460200866959.post-65154150871051597812013-02-03T12:32:30.359-08:002013-02-03T12:32:30.359-08:00It's not just wives who stop kissing either. ...It's not just wives who stop kissing either. My husband no longer really kisses me (on the lips-on-face lips) any more - we've been together nearly 8 years, married 5 years, and initially we kissed all the time. We still have sex (not as often as he'd like, due to us now having babies) but somehow the kissing and making out bit gets skipped/rushed over. I think this is a shame because starting with all that kissing stuff is much more likely to finish up as sex stuff.... (shades of Monty Python's Meaning Of Life - "give her a kiss boy!")... I also miss just making out with sex not necessarily being the end goal.... Having said all that, when we do kiss now, it's like we've forgotten how to do it sometimes, and it's not quite the same/as good as it used to be...Lady Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4339155460200866959.post-79475572952331814802013-02-01T17:45:20.548-08:002013-02-01T17:45:20.548-08:00Somewhere along the way I realized that I don'...Somewhere along the way I realized that I don't kiss my hussy (I've decided that should be the proper diminutive for "husband") much anymore. I don't know if the kissing stopped before we had kids, or after we stopped working and started spending 24/7 around each other, or when I started kissing other people again. But sometime in the last 15 years, we stopped swapping spit regularly. Sometimes I get in a mood and we get all kissyface, but many months can go by in between. <br /><br />So there's another datapoint in the trend you identified. A trend which maybe means "No, it isn't weird." If that's what the reader meant with his question. When I read the question, I wasn't sure if the reader was saying, "Is this common?" or "Is there something wrong with me?" or "Do I have standing to address this as an issue?"<br /><br />When I noticed our kisslessness, I kinda felt a little guilty because I still like kissing my other partner (a LOT), and in the recent past I enjoyed makeout sessions with people who didn't end up becoming partners. So We Talked About It. The talk might have started something like this: "Have you noticed we don't kiss much anymore? I kiss Other Partner a LOT, and really like it, but I just don't often get the urge with you. Do you miss it?" I always sugar-coat uncomfortable subjects just like that.<br /><br />The whole point -- we talked about it, like we talk about our needs, most of our fantasies, and plenty of things that make no sense to ever say out loud. Maybe the reader should talk about it with his wife, if he hasn't, or if it's unresolved. Weirdness isn't important. What's important is that you're both cool with the lack-o-kissitivity, or working together to address the unmet need.<br /><br />Incidentally, my hussy said he was fine with kissing being an occasional special or a rare treat instead of "the usual" fare it used to be -- there are plenty of other dishes we like to share, and variety is something something in a dietary analogy. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4339155460200866959.post-88121451433301155472013-02-01T17:02:49.918-08:002013-02-01T17:02:49.918-08:00Some men are just really not very pleasant to kiss...Some men are just really not very pleasant to kiss--I'm a man--we can be so aggressive, and that is just so often not what is wanted. <br /><br />I can easily imagine that a steady diet of aggressive kissing over the years could cause one to lose interest. Guys, pay attention, and mix it up a little. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4339155460200866959.post-76802185638510248102013-02-01T13:28:51.414-08:002013-02-01T13:28:51.414-08:00Anon #1: Easy. 1. Rip out soul. 2. Shape into t...Anon #1: Easy. 1. Rip out soul. 2. Shape into text shape. 3. Mail to me at jillhamilton001@gmail.com. You can be anonymous or pick a cool pseudonym.in bed with married womenhttp://www.inbedwithmarriedwomen.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4339155460200866959.post-67322542345463977322013-02-01T13:26:00.198-08:002013-02-01T13:26:00.198-08:00Jenny Lyn, You, my friend, have just given me my n...Jenny Lyn, You, my friend, have just given me my next diversion from compiling a book. Picture details--I'm on it!in bed with married womenhttp://www.inbedwithmarriedwomen.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4339155460200866959.post-20879912672907427152013-02-01T13:24:59.076-08:002013-02-01T13:24:59.076-08:00I could do some soul rippin' outtin' for a...I could do some soul rippin' outtin' for a THT. Point me to it. --Anon#1Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4339155460200866959.post-22713871034075060392013-02-01T13:23:33.182-08:002013-02-01T13:23:33.182-08:00Jill, I forgot to ask, what the hell is going on i...Jill, I forgot to ask, what the hell is going on in the picture in this post? The one chick looks a little like Liz Taylor.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4339155460200866959.post-53519647375526657272013-02-01T13:18:13.361-08:002013-02-01T13:18:13.361-08:00Oh my God, Carrie's comment made me laugh so h...Oh my God, Carrie's comment made me laugh so hard I aspirated some Coke, the diet kind not the white powdery kind.<br /><br />RE: Kissless marriage dude - Don't sweat it if she tells you she's just not that into it, as long as you're cool with it and the sex is still good. To be honest, I'm not a fan of kissing during sex because it can be a distraction from all the other amazing stuff going on with other body parts. But that's just me. Maybe I was a hooker in a former life. :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4339155460200866959.post-27242773167362204492013-02-01T13:14:32.052-08:002013-02-01T13:14:32.052-08:00Anonymous #1: So not perverse. Glad you see that....Anonymous #1: So not perverse. Glad you see that. And I feel for you in all kinds of ways. And, well, if you want rip your soul out for a True Husband's Tale, I'm know tons of other people have the same thing going on and would love to hear your take on it.<br />Anonymous #2: Good, now i don't feel like such a weirdo for wanting to hear more.<br />Carrie: Woo-hoo, you're going all Katniss! Excellent excellent, esther perel-ish advice.<br />Anonymous #3: Uh, oh yeah, that was my third option that I forgot--that it was just a personal quirk, like how my one friend is terrified of balloons and another has a phobia of those little apple stickers. Glad that it's not as bad as i was thinking....in bed with married womenhttp://www.inbedwithmarriedwomen.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4339155460200866959.post-81357905397570803042013-02-01T12:50:46.959-08:002013-02-01T12:50:46.959-08:00I was the one who asked the question about kissing...I was the one who asked the question about kissing. My wife says she's never really enjoyed sexual kissing on the mouth (not a fan of saliva) and she feels comfortable enough with me to be honest about it. Other than that, the sex life is good.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4339155460200866959.post-30142661026336925932013-02-01T12:12:47.905-08:002013-02-01T12:12:47.905-08:00On kissless marriage. I don't think that women...On kissless marriage. I don't think that women necessarily have some hormonal reason for not wanting to kiss. I'm 44, and I'm so freaking horny all the time I sometimes catch myself looking at a head of cabbage in the supermarket veggie aisle and want to make out with it! I've also been married for 26 years and I still enjoy macking out with my man. Still, there's something about the familiarity that might cut into the kissing....when you live with someone day in, day out, pick up their dirty underwear off of the bathroom floor, sit on the couch watching Mad Men while they fart next to you...well, keeping it hot and romantic isn't an easy proposition for some. For me it's pretty blissful, "home is where the fart is" and all that. I think couples have kind of unrealistic expectations of each other...my best advice? Think of all those things you find hot about your mate--and believe me, there are a lot of things if you ponder it. Appreciate what you have, enjoy the level of intimacy that includes dirty underpants and farts and revel in it. Life is too short, people...get with the program! Talk about your deepest, darkest fantasies (all of them--even the really, really dirty ones...ok, ESPECIALLY the really dirty ones) and let yourself go. You never have time to truly open up and explore your partner....even after all these years we still find hotness in the unfamiliar-familiar. And fuck like bunnies....orgasms are nice--giving and receiving.Carriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01162474873396044703noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4339155460200866959.post-43012765307207299572013-02-01T11:19:43.847-08:002013-02-01T11:19:43.847-08:00My only comment about the girl crush letter is tha...My only comment about the girl crush letter is that it's extremely hot. Wow-ee.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4339155460200866959.post-20953397083383419152013-02-01T10:37:29.089-08:002013-02-01T10:37:29.089-08:00Kissless and sexless marriage, whatever the chemic...Kissless and sexless marriage, whatever the chemical reason (or any other) really sucks (not the good kind; sexless, remember?). It becomes unbearable too as middle aging males typically enter the lifetime "cave" where they are re-assessing who they are and WTH they mean in life and what can be done now that the rug's been pulled out form under them by their under 40 "bosses", their sexuality is deemed "perverse" and the like, men need the intimacy of kissing, touching and yeah, heavens forbid, sex. That's unfortunately the time where female mates are sick of them and pull back. It's a cluster... um, not-frack. Bottom line, as a male in a sexless kissless marriage and I still love her and don't want to be with anyone else so it's unbearably painful any way I look at it, it just... su-... just blo-... it's terrible. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com