Thursday, May 2, 2019

The Sex Toy Fairy redux, and reader books all over the damn place

Your situation may vary
Hey there gorgeous. Lots to cover, so let's just get to it.

Sex toys up the whatever: So my stash of sex toys have been going off to seek their respective fortunes in/on/around some of y'all's highly personal orifices and...damn, I LOVE being a sex toy fairy godmother wielding my sometimes literal Magic Wands.

Besides the new widow (a toy virgin!), the sex toys have gone out to a married person whose sex partner has been their own hand (still true, but at least they've got something else going on down there), a person who is embarking on a sexual adventure in midlife and a couple who asked me to curate a box for them.  "What I'm going to do is set it up as 'we take turns' one night at a time, one item at a time, pulling one thing out and let the good times roll, then have something to look forward to the next night," wrote B, because people tell me things. I haven't heard back from either of them since so I'm assuming they're too chafed to get to the computer.

Money people paid me money (good money, too--thank you!), some of them didn't (okay, too. I know well the world of Poor.)

But my favorite story was when one among you, dear C who lives abroad like a bad-ass, offered to be a co-fairy Godmother and sponsor someone who couldn't afford it. That turned out to be new couple R and T who sent a message that read, in part: 

"I'm going to get really personal and tell you that both T and I are recovering heroin addicts. So neither one of us are working at the time because we don't feel ready to have money on hand quite yet. Sex is a huge distraction for us when we have cravings to use. We do get creative and use pillow cases to tie each other up but if we had a toy(s) to use it would really be amazing!!"

So on C's dime, I filled up a big priority box with all kinds of naughtiness and sent it off in a test run of our unconventional rehab program. Wrote C:  "I love their story and I am so happy to help out. I got divorced in my mid 40s and finally discovered a myself again - with an even richer sexual life. Because of the horror of the divorce, I am finally getting back on my financial feet and can do things like this. It makes me so happy!!! Sex and feeling good and healthy and sexy and wanting a full wonderful experience is the incredible and wonderful and necessary."

I still have a ton of some stuff waiting and willing to sexxx you up.  Among the items are:

--vibrators galore
--various bullet vibes
--a thrusting vibrator
--a prostate stimulator (non-vibrating)
--prostate stimulator, totally vibrating
--a penis-shaped hollow strap-on (to be worn over a penis for a little extra somethin')
--various lube, cbd oil for the groin

If you'd like a specific thing, or want me to throw a few things in a box, write me at jillhamilton001@gmail.com. I can also send you photos or more info, if you're the cautious type.  You'll need to pay postage (medium priority box is $14.35, large is $19.95), plus some amount of extra money for handling/bravery because mailing sex toys is occasionally harrowing.

Readers' Books
Two (2!)  among you have put out absolutely killer books recently.

The Uncomfortable Confessions of a Preacher's Kid by Ronna Russell is a wonderfully honest memoir about growing up in an extremely religious household, marrying a not-so great closeted man and, discovering later in life, that her narcissistic, controlling father was dying from AIDS. Just thinking about it, I am now ashamed that I used the word "harrowing" for going to the stinking post office, when this is the real harrowing business of life. But it's also a hopeful story.  Ronna is strong as hell and finding her way just fine. The Uncomfortable Confessions of a Preacher's Kid is definitely in the genre of jacked-up childhood/eccentric parent reads like The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls and Educated by Tara Westover.


On Blossoming: Frank and Practical Advice on Our Bodies, Sexual Health, Sensuality, Pleasure, Orgasm and More by Gia Lynne is wonderful, shame-free Sex Ed book geared towards teens, young adults and parents. It's exactly what you'd want such a book to be--smart, frank and sex positive. Unlike regular sex ed (if your kids are lucky enough to even get any), On Blossoming has way less talk of Fallopian tubes and way more about the interesting bits like orgasms, consent and finding pleasure.
  
Later, man.  I'm off to re-hide a bunch of sex toys that are all over my bed so I could take photos for you.

Above the call of duty,
xoxo
jill

1 comment:

Jill Hamilton said...

As stuff goes to its new home, i'll erase it from the list.

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