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Butt plugs patiently awaiting their destiny |
“It's kind of like Wonka's Chocolate
Factory, but for sex toys :-),” emailed Erica Braverman, Communications and PR Manager for Doc Johnson, inviting me to tour their North Hollywood factory.
The 215,000 square ft sex toy factory, the largest in North America, once housed a novelty company until Ron
Braverman, Erica's father, bought the business in 1976 and ditched
everything but the sex toys. “A
few of our initial product offerings included our 8” Classic Dong,
Motion Lotion, and our Classic Butt Plug in three sizes,” says
Erica. In a market where it's now not (that) weird to use the word
“classic” when describing a butt plug, Doc Johnson is thriving,
cranking out 2,500 different products, 75% of them made in America.
When I got to the factory, instead of being greeted by a chocolate
river—which, for the record, would have been nice--there were
gigantic cans of mystery substances labeled enigmatically, like
“black jelly base, fresh breeze scent.” And, to my delight, the
factory floor truly was Wonka-esque. Everywhere I looked, there were
brightly colored sex toys being molded, shaped, and otherwise being
handled in a way that would constitute sexual harassment were they
real body parts.
After popping my eyes back into my
head, I managed to learn a few things about sex toys and the industry
as a whole. Namely:
--People put some big-ass stuff up
their holes.
There were butt plugs half the size of traffic cones, dildos the size of a grown man's forearm, and if that
wasn't gonna do the trick, dildos shaped like actual arms. There
were not just a few of these supersizers to service a niche market of
people with especially receptive orifices, there were a
lot. Stacks everywhere.
--Flavored lubes are no longer just
that one cloying strawberry flavor.
There is an insanely huge array of
lubes, gels and body icings to make your partner's private parts
taste less like private parts and more like marshmallow fluff, red licorice or red velvet cake. A cinnamon bun spray I tried was
surprisingly good. (For a more literal interpretation of “cinnamon
bun,” there's a hot cinnamon anal lube, perhaps so you can freshen
your breath while licking someone's ass. #Multitasking.)
Inexplicably, ye olde strawberry is still the top seller. I imagine
that they're shipping most of these back to 1975, but I didn't ask.
--The person molding your next strap-on
is most likely a kindly-looking Latino woman in her 40s or 50s.
Doc's line workers move diligently and
efficiently, weaving pubes onto disembodied vulvas or hot ironing
genitalia to get it just so. As they brusquely power sand various
body parts—a sight which is extremely difficult not to
anthromorphize--most wear the kind of expression of someone who could
be just as easily be slapping labels on cans of peas. Long inured to
the sight of a big pile of unpainted dildos awaiting their attention,
their demeanor is somewhere between “Sigh, these realistic veins
aren't gonna paint themselves” and a serenity akin to companionable
silence of a longtime sewing circle, but with pubic hair.
--Sex cosmetics are a thing and it's a
huge market.
Sex cosmetics promise all kinds of
magical-sounding benefits and include everything from sprays that
plump lips, prevent dry mouth and numb the throat for optimal oral sex to lubes that warm, cool and/or enhance sensitivity. There's a
Sta-Erect cream, a prolonging spray and all manner of arousal gels
including a new “liquid vibrator” that somehow starts vibrating
after application which, if you must know, I'm too afraid to try.
There's also fake cum (several types!) as well as faux pee.
--What, exactly, is the taste of faux
pee?
If it's from a Piss Off cock, that
would be “tropical.”
--There is a real artist behind what
you're putting in your behind.
Doc's sculptor/artist's is Anjani
Siddhartha, an earthy, sexy woman of indeterminate age who is
currently working on a toy that looks like a finial for a curtain
rod. Like that bad recurring 1993 SNL skit where the shopkeeper saw
everything through the lens of “you can put your weed in it,”
Siddhartha looks at everything—yes, including your finials—to see
could be made fuckable. Surprisingly often, the answer is yes.
--Fake vaginas, like real ones, are
full of mystery.
My three takeaways.
--Fake vaginas have no curb appeal. All
the good stuff is near the entry point and inside, so the outside is
just kind of a flesh colored rubbery rectangle. Thus, packaging on
fake Vs is hugely important.
--There is no preference in labia shape
or size. Any woman still worried about her own equipment can stop
this very second.
--Porn stars regularly come in to have
molds taken of their body parts. For the female porn stars molds, the
labia is an accurate, spot-on re-creation, but the inside is generic,
that is, pussy approximate.
--Sex toy exec really read those online
user product reviews.
Even the weird ones like this Amazon
review for the Belladonna's Magic
Hand, black which reads “...easy to clean and don't smell too
bad.”
--The Next Big Thing is anal.
"Toys for heterosexual man are a huge
emerging market,” says Erica. “Straight men are discovering they
have a prostate, which basically like the female g-spot.” To
facilitate these tentative explorers, Doc has several beginner anal training kits, with sets of butt plugs, a vibrator and lube, so you
can “kind of work your way up,” says Erica. She likens their
popularity to the appeal of well-stocked makeup kits. You might not
use all those eye shadows (or...butt plugs) but it's fun to have the
array of options.
--Branding has made it to the sex toy
industry.
Before sex toys went mainstream, you
got what you got, style-wise—generally that style statement was a
combo of utilitarian and sleazy. Now it's kinda gauche to stick just
any old thing between your legs. High-end stuff that's more artsy/less body part-looking is big, like the Tryst Multi-Erogenous Zone Vibrator. Branding at Doc's includes the
upscale, GQ-ish OptiMALE line, a line with Kink.com full of black
leather and fucking machines, and WonderLand, with toys packaged like a whimsical fairy tale book. If a Tim Burton character needed to take
the edge off, they would for sure reach for a WonderLand toy.
--At Doc Johnson, there is no official
job of Product Tester.
Sorry.
--Not all factory tours end with some sort of poetic comeuppance, ala Wonka tours.
That is, I was not overfucked by an onslaught of dildos for my sin of Lust. Still unsure if that's good or bad.
--Not all factory tours end with some sort of poetic comeuppance, ala Wonka tours.
That is, I was not overfucked by an onslaught of dildos for my sin of Lust. Still unsure if that's good or bad.
xoxo
jill, home now with a huge bag of swag.
This article originally appeared on AlterNet as "11 Amazing Things I Learned at Touring a Sex Toy Factory." Meaning, yes, you got a bonus bit of knowledge.
6 comments:
It's kind of like Wonka's Chocolate Factory, but for sex toys :-)
I invite you to hunt up an episode of Adult Swim's cartoon "Lucy, The Daughter of the Devil" called "Dildo Factory". (It's not for children, but is not more raw than basic cable.) I have a feeling you've got the slightly off-center humor to enjoy it.
ooh, i will check it out! thanks ValdVin! ps still to afraid to try the scary vibrating gel. not that you asked.
You never disappoint, Jill; this is a terrific piece of writing. Fun and tasty, too, I'm sure.
I LURV reading sex toy reviews, the strange mix between factual and pornographic information is so attractive. PS Left you a 10 $ tip today as you write so well!
Thanks Mongo! so fun! I love a factory tour any but this? C'mon!
Anonymous, you did! what a great thing to wake up to--thanks!!
I have at home a glass dildo from edenfantasys, i dont think is dangerous like if it should be from plastic , the glass is more clear i think
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